Thoughts, Shirley and a Recipe

I may have mentioned this before, but one of my favorite songs growing up was, "When I get to Heaven gonna walk with Jesus, when I get to Heaven gonna see His face, when I get to Heaven gonna talk with Jesus, saved by His wonderful grace!  Because I'm saved, saved, wonderfully saved, washed in the blood of the Lamb, Hallelujah! Saved, saved, wonderfully saved, and I'm so glad I am, Hallelujah!"
I still love it, and I think it really simplifies things for me.  I was reading over Matthew 5 this morning, the Beatitudes.  Jesus highlights the heart behind the Law.  He didn't come to abolish it but to fulfill it.  (Major paraphrasing there.)  I was kind of asking myself, how do I know if I'm trying to seek my own righteousness, or Christ's?  And I was reminded of my favorite verse, "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him.  Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:6-9)
It comes down to love.  When I love God I obey Him.  Just as when I truly love anyone, I sacrifice for them, I seek to please them.  And this is all based on His love for me first.  And all this is mine through faith by His grace!  So simple!  You know, until sin gets in the way.  But Jesus says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled."  May we seek Jesus' righteousness all the time!

Shirley girly is going to be 17 months tomorrow, so I thought a little update is in order.  How she fills our lives with joy!  She is so full of personality.  Kwacha and I both grew up shy and quiet, but it's like God took our two personalities and canceled them out to create Shirley's!  She still says hi to everyone she sees and she loves to give kisses and hugs.  Especially "fish lip kissies" and "eskimo kissies!"  She has a newfound love for the park.  She just started going down the slide by herself and her favorite person to go with is Bren.   He calls her "Shirwee".  It's just super cute.
Of course, with all this personality comes a fair share of discipline!  She is very independent and strong-willed.  She definitely has whining down, especially when it's dinner time because she just wants more and more to eat!
She is learning a lot of new words and it's fun to see her say things that I didn't focus on teaching her. I taught her how to point to her eyes, ears, nose, mouth, etc.  But one day I asked her to show me her feet, which I had never asked her before, and she pointed to them; the same thing with her toe.  It's just amazing to see the things they pick up.
I just hope that one day, this spirited girl would pour her energy into the Lord and serving Him with her life.

Last thing I have today is a recipe for the most scrumptious, easy dessert!
I found the recipe on Pinterest from this site.

They are called "Flourless Peanut Butter Oatmeal Bars" and they are dangerously fast and easy to make.
I tweaked the recipe just a bit:

Ingredients:
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 light brown sugar (or coconut sugar - I also added 1 packet of truvia since the recipe calls for a 3/4 cup)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp kosher salt
1 large egg (at room temp.)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp carob powder (or 1/2 semi-sweet chocolate chips)
1/3 cup old fashioned rolled oats (I used instant and it turned out fine)

Mix the first four ingredients until well-combined on medium, then add in the egg and vanilla and mix on medium-low.  Add in carob powder and stir in oats by hand.  Press into a greased 8x8 pan and bake in a 350 degree oven for 22 minutes.  Enjoy!  They are basically my new version of brownies!

Blessed Assurance

I am writing this post today in hopes of it being helpful to someone out there.  
Anyone who knows me well, knows that in the past I greatly struggled with assurance of salvation.  I guess I should give a little background first.  When I was five, my best friend at the time told me that to become a Christian, I had to ask Jesus into my heart.  I even remember where we were standing.  It was after school got out and we were right outside the bookstore at Grace Community Church.  I had never known a time when I did not know who Jesus is.  I was attracted to everything I knew about Him.  Why would I not want to be a Christian?  Of course I prayed the prayer with her.  Was I saved at that time?  I don't know for sure.  I can't remember what I thought about sin.  I knew I was a sinner, I knew that Jesus died for sin on the cross, but I don't remember having an understanding of repentance and turning from that sin.  

I'm also not sure when I started doubting whether I was truly saved, but I think it may have been sometime in Junior High.  That's when I started having a "quiet time."  (Time reading the Bible and praying.)  I did this with a very legalistic mindset though.  I felt that I needed to spend some time reading the Bible and then I could watch TV the rest of the night.  It was mostly a duty to me, although in High School I know I started enjoying reading the Bible.  But I remember lying in my bed at night, wondering if I should tell my mom that I was scared to die.  "If I tell her", I thought, "she will be so upset to find out that I may not be a Christian."  I'm sure I said "the prayer" over and over.  

Well, fast forward to September 11, 2001.  My family was in Hawaii on vacation.  (The only time I've ever been to Hawaii.)  It was my senior year of High School.  I remember that morning that I spent some time in the Word and I sang a few hymns on the balcony of our hotel looking out at the water.  I felt pretty good about everything.  Then my dad got a call from his boss at work and he told us to turn on the TV.  The first thing I saw was the World Trade Center on fire with the words, "America Attacked."  To say it kind of killed our vacation is an understatement.  From that moment on I was TERRIFIED.  I did not want to get on a plane to go home for fear that terrorists would take over our plane as well!  (However unlikely that would have been.)  I was extremely afraid to die.  So what did that have to say about my salvation?  

For years after that I struggled.  I started doubting everything, including whether or not God existed.  I desperately wanted to believe that He did, but I just wasn't sure.  How could I be saved if I was doubting even God's existence?  Sometimes I couldn't eat.  I thought that if God determined from the beginning of time who would be saved, and He had decided not to save me, then what was the point in living?  Except I was terrified to die so suicide was definitely not an option.  I felt scared and trapped and deeply depressed.  Things only started turning around when I poured out my heart to God and spent time reading His Word.  

Can I say that I think every person raised in the church needs to deal with these questions at some point?  It's not enough to say that if we have Christian parents we are Christian's.  No one is born a believer, we are all born sinners, hating God and loving our own sin.  

I remember later on that year, my High School Bible study leader asked to hear my testimony and at the end he said, you didn't mention anything about your sin.  This sent me into waves of terror again, but it was a good question.  I knew I was a sinner but did I really understand that it was so awful that I was deserving hell because of it?  

In college I really wrestled with this concept of sin and a new worry was forming.  Was I sorry enough for my sin?  I rarely cried over my sin.  Did I hate it enough?  Did I really repent if I wasn't constantly in tears over it?  

I found this quote sometime in college and it's been in a notebook of mine ever since.  I read it in Saved Without a Doubt by John MacArthur.  The main quote is from Ironside.  I don't know his first name, I just have Ironside written down.  :)  It goes like this:

"Test yourself in this way.  You once lived in sin and loved it.  Do you now desire deliverance from it?  You were once self-confident and trusting in your own fancied goodness.  Do you now judge yourself as a sinner before God?  You once sought to hide from God and rebelled against His authority.  Do you now look up to Him, desiring to know Him, and to yield yourself to Him?  IF you can honestly say "yes" to these questions, you have repented...and remember, it is not the amount of repentance that counts; it is the fact that you turn from self to God that puts you in the place where His grace avails through Jesus Christ.  Strictly speaking, not one of us have ever repented enough.  None of us has realized the enormity of our guilt as God sees it.  But when we judge ourselves and trust the Savior whom He has provided we are saved through His merits.  As recipients of His lovingkindness, repentance will be deepened and will continue day by day, as we learn more and more of His infinite worth and our own unworthiness."  

And John added to that, "Do you see the impulses of the new nature in your life?  If so, that's indicative of salvation.  If God's will has become your highest joy, and submission to His lordship your greatest delight, you are indeed a child of God - no matter how strong the pull of sin."  

A few years later I was still struggling when I was at the Resolved conference. One night we sang "Rock of Ages" and it became one of my favorite hymns.  

Here are a couple of verses:

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy riven side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Cleanse me from its guilt and power.

Not the labors of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone. 

John MacArthur has another saying that I have always loved, "It's not perfection, but direction."  

These things were all helpful but I think the thing that really helped settle me was dwelling on God's love for me and what Jesus did on the cross.  I finally realized that good works did not come from trying really hard.  Good works can NEVER save you.  That's super comforting because we can never do enough good works.  God saved me by His grace alone.  He gave me faith in Him.  And because of that faith and that joy that comes from that knowledge, I am a new person.  I want to obey!  It's from the heart!  It's not perfect.  Go read Romans 7.  But that new heart is there!  

A recent joy has been studying 1 John at Every Woman's Grace.  This book, like no other, has deepened my assurance.  That's why it was written!  (1 John 5:13 - "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.")  A true believer believes that Jesus is the Son of God, they obey Him and they love others.  It's as simple as that.  Is that obedience and love perfect right now?  No, but it's there and growing and one day will be made perfect when we see Christ face to face!  

I love what Andrew Gutierrez (the previous High School pastor at GCC) would often say:
Something like, "When we are saved the rest of our life we live in obedience as a big 'thank you' back to God."

I'll end with "Blessed Assurance"

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! 
O what a foretaste of glory divine! 
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song, 
praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
angels descending bring from above
echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
watching and waiting, looking above
filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

If you're reading this and you don't truly know God or you are doubting whether or not you do, please please please talk to someone who does know Him!  

One last thing.  (Okay I guess I didn't really end up there.)  I am so thankful for the body of Christ, the church.  God gives us fellow believers to comfort, strengthen, lovingly rebuke and encourage.  There are SO MANY people over the years that really helped me with all this and I feel like I have to mention them!  

My High School small group leader, Holly.  I must have driven her crazy with my constant questions and concerns, but she was so patient and loving.  Christen, one of my best friends growing up. My college roomie and High School friend, Melissa.  My college Bible study leader and his wife, Clint and Kim.    They had me over one night to their place and gave me many verses and helped me think through things and they talked with me other times too.  Heather.  She talked with me at a college retreat once and wrote me a super long email that I still have to this day somewhere. Beth, one of my Junior High teachers and later I had her in college too!  She talked with me in her office one day.  Glenna, Nicole and Mariejtie.  All three of them discipled me in and after college.  My pastors and the many helpful sermons they preached, John MacArthur and Rick Holland.  And most of all my parents and sister.  They put up with everything for years!  And they were so patient and loving and helpful all the way through.  There are so many others.  God used each of you in my life and I am so thankful. 

"The Love of Christ constraineth us." 2 Cor. 5:14

"How much you owe unto your Lord!  Has He ever done anything for you?  Has He forgiven your sins?  Has He covered you with a robe of righteousness?  Has He set your feet upon a rock?  Has He established your goings?  Has He prepared heaven for you?  Has He prepared you for heaven?  Has He written your name in His book of life?  Has He given you countless blessings?  Has He laid up for you a store of mercies, which eye has not seen nor ear heard?

  

Then do something for Jesus, which is worthy of His love.  Give not a mere wordy offering to a dying Redeemer.  How will you feel when your Master comes, if you have to confess that you did nothing for Him - but kept your love shut up, like a stagnant pool, not flowing forth to His work.  Out on such love as that!

What do men think of a love which never shows itself in action?  Why, they say, 'Open rebuke is better than secret love.'  Who will accept a love so weak - that it does not actuate you to a single deed of self-denial, of generosity, of heroism, or zeal!  Think how He has loved you, and given Himself for you!  Do you know the power of that love?  Then let it be like a rushing mighty wind to your soul - to sweep out the clouds of your worldliness, and clear away the mists of sin.  

'For Christ's sake' be this the tongue of fire that shall sit upon you; 'for Christ's sake' be this the divine rapture, the heavenly affection to bear you aloft from earth; the divine spirit that shall make you bold as lions and swift as eagles in your Lord's service.  Love should give wings to the feet of service, and strength to the arms of labor.

Fixed on God with a constancy that is not to be shaken, resolute to honor Him with a determination that is not to be turned aside, and pressing on with an ardor never to be wearied - let us manifest the constraints of love to Jesus.  May the divine loadstone draw us heavenward towards itself!"

-Spurgeon

Seek Jesus!

C. H. Spurgeon*** August 23*** Love and Seek True Wisdom*** I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. (Proverbs 8:17) Wisdom loves her lovers and seeks her seekers. He is already wise who seeks to be wise, and he has almost found wisdom who diligently seeks her. What is true of wisdom in general is specially true of wisdom embodied in our Lord Jesus. Him we are to love and to seek, and in return we shall enjoy His love and find Himself. Our business is to seek Jesus early in life. Happy are the young whose morning is spent with Jesus! It is never too soon to seek the Lord Jesus. Early seekers make certain finders. We should seek Him early by diligence. Thriving tradesmen are early risers, and thriving saints seek Jesus eagerly. Those who find Jesus to their enrichment give their hearts to seeking Him. We must seek Him first, and thus earliest. Above all things Jesus. Jesus first and nothing else even as a bad second. The blessing is that He will be found. He reveals Himself more and more clearly to our search.... Happy men who seek One who, when He is found, remains with them forever, a treasure growingly precious to their hearts and understandings. Lord Jesus, I have found Thee; be found of me to an unutterable degree of joyous satisfaction.

Oxymoron?

I was reading John 13 earlier this week partly because Patti wanted it read at her memorial service (which was amazing and deserves its own post) and also because it's one of my favorite passages in the Bible. 
This time I was struck by verse 3 and the first part of verse 4.  Its says, "Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper."
I don't have too much to say about it, but look at it!  Read it again.  Verse 3 says some amazing things about Jesus.  It point out His diety and it talks about where He came from and the place He was returning to shortly.  It tells us that Jesus is God and that everything belongs to Him!  My measly words can't even begin to explain it, my little mind can't even comprehend what that place is like. 
And then it says that He "rose from supper."  Such a mundane thing compared to the profound truth right before.  It's something you and I do every day.  We get up after we eat a meal. 
I don't know, it just reminded me again of the amazing truth that Jesus is God and man.  And that He became a man so that we can one day be with Him in that amazing place. 
So thankful!

Him hath God exalted

I read the excerpt below from Spurgeon's Morning by Morning and halfway through I started thinking about my dad and missing him. Just how I love my family still...but. It is not wholly complete without him. I just miss how we all interacted as a family. How we all joked around or had some our deeper meaningful conversations at the dinner table. I miss his counsel. But then I finished the Spurgeon devotional and I couldn't be sad anymore. He is in Heaven with Jesus and pretty soon we will be too. I can't wait!

"Him hath God exalted."

-Acts 5:31

Jesus, our Lord, once crucified, dead and buried, now sits upon the throne of glory. The highest place that heaven affords is his by undisputed right. It is sweet to remember that the exaltation of Christ in heaven is a representative exaltation. He is exalted at the Father's right hand, and though as Jehovah he has eminent glories, in which finite creatures cannot share, yet as the Mediator, the honors which Jesus wears in heaven are the heritage of all the saints. It is delightful to reflect how close is Christ's union with his people. We are actually one with him; we are. Members of his body; and his exaltation is our exaltation. He will give us to sit upon his throne, even as he has overcome, and is set down with his Father on his throne; he has a crown, and he gives us crowns too; he has a throne, but he is not content with having a throne to himself, on his right hand there must be his queen, arrayed in "gold of Ophir". He cannot be glorified without his bride. Look up, believer, to Jesus now; let the eye of your faith behold him with many crowns upon his head; and remember that you will one day be like him, when you shall see him as he is; you shall not be so great as he is, you shall not be so divine, but still you shall, in a measure, share the same honors, and enjoy the same happiness and the same dignity which he possesses. Be content to live unknown for a little while, and to walk your weary way through the fields of poverty, or up the hills of affliction; for by-and-by you shall reign with Christ, for he has "made us kings and priests unto God, and we shall reign forever and ever." Oh! Wonderful thought for the children of God! W have Christ for our glorious representative in heaven's courts now, and soon he will come and receive us to himself, to be with him there, to behold his glory, and to share his joy.

A Reading Nook

One of my favorite things to do after a long day at work is to come home and read.

I like to sit on my bed, grab a pillow, lean against the window sill and ever so often look out at the pretty view.  Framed by my little plants.

Right now I'm trying to read through the Bible quickly.  I know a couple people, yes more than two, that have read the whole Bible in a month!

I don't know if I'll make it that fast...but I'd love to read it in maybe just 3 months.

It's so cool to see the different things God teaches you as you reread a passage you've read many times before.  His Word is living and active!

Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

What are you reading right now?  I want to know!  :)

Happiness is...

...focusing on and thanking God for what He has given me already, not focusing on and complaining about what I don't have that I want. 

Colossians 3:15 "And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.  And be thankful."

Psalm 69:30 "I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify Him with thanksgiving."

Psalm 100:4 "Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise!  Give thanks to Him; bless His name!"

Psalm 4:7 "You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and their wine abound."

and one more:

Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Because of God's amazing love, we have so much to be thankful for!  Everything in fact.  :)

(Oh and on a more earthly level, looking at that picture above, happiness is sleeping in.  Yay for Saturday tomorrow!)

Life

The above picture is a shot of the plant in my room, from it's good side.  I am notorious for killing plants.  A green thumb I do not have.  But this one has managed to live for over a year!  A lady at work gave it to me last Christmas as a "Secret Sibling" gift.  I take unnecessary pride in this plant; unnecessary in the sense that I have really had nothing to do with keeping it alive.  I water it occasionally.  And I placed it near the window where it can get a little sun.  That's it. (1 Corinthians 3:7 - "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.")  And like I said before, this is it's good side.  The plant is not nearly as vibrant as it could be, because even though it's right near my bed and I see it every day, I still forget to water it. 

I find it fascinating (but I guess not all that surprising) how many things in creation are pictures of God and our relationship with Him.  The sun (and I've probably written about this before) is the center of the solar system.  The planets revolve around it and it is the source of light just like Christ is the center of our lives and He is the source of light: knowledge, holiness and glory.

In Proverbs, sluggards are told to go the ant and learn how to work.

Same goes for plants.  Psalm 1:2-3 says, "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.  In all that he does, he prospers."

If I forget to water my plant or open the shades it starts to die.  The plant needs that water and light!  Same goes with me.  If I don't drink God's Word each day and bask in His light, I start to smell of death.  Sin is right there.  But with some water and sun, with the Word, life is renewed!  It's amazing to see how well my little plant improves when I cut off the dead leaves and give it something to drink.  Same goes with the refreshment I receive from God's Word and time spent in prayer with Him!

2 Corinthians 4:6 "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shown in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."

So drink up friends!  Enjoy your day!

That time of year...

Resolutions?  Yes, no, maybe so?  Well when New Year's rolled around I felt that it was almost pointless to make resolutions since I find such difficulty in keeping them.  Plus the whole idea just sometimes seems a little....cheesy to me.  What has happened to me and the idea of cheesiness??  In the last couple years I have wanted as little to do with cheesiness as possible.  But I think I've gone to the other extreme. 

This last weekend we had high school winter camp.  The topic was the glory of God.  To bring God glory should be my utlimate goal and resolution, which I cannot do apart from Jesus and the Holy Spirit working in me. 
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 
Romans 11:33-36 "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!  'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor?' 'Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid?' For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.  To Him be glory forever.  Amen."

Any resolutions I make this year should stem from this.  And it has become more and more clear to me in the last two weeks that I HAVE to make goals and plans in order to grow and truly bring God glory with my life.  If I don't plan anything it's not going to happen.  A friend asked me recently, "What are your plans for this year?"  And I didn't have much of an answer.  Lame!  The very next day I was reading a book that my wonderful boss gave me and the author was talking about the importance of setting goals to grow. 

So, at camp I decided that it might be a good idea to break up my day/areas in which I am involved and see in what ways I need to grow.  That may be a way to figure out some goals and plans to make. 
For me that looks like:
God
Family/Home
Work
Church/High School Group/Evangelism
Friends
Entertainment
Food
Sleep/Rest
Finances

Right off the top of my head I know that in my relationship with God I want to wake up at 5 every morning and spend time with Him in His Word and in prayer.  I want to read through the Bible this year, but faster than one year.  Maybe a few months or more.  I want to spend the majority of my time in the car praying to Him or singing to Him. 
With Family/Home I want to help my mom around the house more.  Be more involved with cleaning and cooking, etc. 
At Work I want to be focused on paying attention to what I am doing.  I want to make sure that I don't draw attention to myself at lunch by trying to be funny or whatever.  I want to take interest in other people.  I also want to take a couple of lunches every week to read. 
With Church/High School/Evangelism I want to faithfully pray for those on staff and the girls in my small group.  I want to choose a day or two in the week where I specifically plan to pray for them.  Same goes with missionaries and people I want to tell about Jesus.  To be realistic, I'd like to start off with telling someone the gospel at least once a month.  I know it should be more, but I want to start off with more than last year. 
With Friends I want to be more purposeful in our conversations.  To ask more faithfully how I can pray for them and then to actually do that! 
With Entertainment I want to be much more discerning in what I watch.  I want to ask myself, "Is what I'm watching glorifying to God?"  If I can't find any way in which it is, I shouldn't be watching it! 
With Food I need to come up with a plan for eating healthy and stick with it.  With the disease I have this is necessary and yet I forget that it is.  I would like to have self control in this area.  I'd also like to spend less in eating out.  In order to do this I really need to come up with how much I should spend a month and stick with it. 
With Sleep and Rest it's pretty simple.  I need to go to bed earlier!  I would like 6 or 7 hours of sleep a night.  If I get up at 5 that means I need to go to bed between 10 and 11.  That means I need to start going upstairs between 9:30 and 10 and that means getting off of FB by 10 for sure! 
And finally with Finances I need to make a budget and stick with that.

Well, again, those are plans that come to mind immediately.  I know that I could come up with more and probably other categories.  But this is a place to start.  It's also probably more than you wanted to know, but I am thankful to have a spot where I have recorded this and now you all can keep me accountable! 

So, what have you decided to do this year as far as resolutions?  What has helped you in the past?  I want to know readers!  Now is the time for you to finally comment!  har har...

"Christ is All"

Valley of Vision prayer I read this morning:

O Lover to the uttermost,
May I read the meltings of Thy heart to me
in the manger of Thy birth,
in the garden of Thy agony,
in the cross of Thy suffering,
in the tomb of Thy resurrection,
in the heaven of Thy intercesssion.

Bold in this thought I defy my adversary,
tread down his temptations,
resist his schemings,
renounce the world,
am valiant for truth.

Deepen in me a sense of my holy relationship to Thee,
as spiritual bridegroom,
as Jehovah's fellow,
as sinners' Friend.

I think of Thy glory and my vileness,
Thy majesty and my meanness,
Thy beauty and my deformity,
Thy purity and my filthiness,
Thy righteousness and my iniquity.

Thou has loved me everlastingly, unchangeably,
may I love Thee as I am loved;
Thou hast given Thyself for me,
may I give myself to Thee.
Thou hast died for me,
may I live to Thee
in every moment of time,
in every movement of my mind,
in every pulse of my heart.

May I never dally with the world and its allurements,
but walk by Thy side,
listen to Thy voice,
be clothed with Thy grace,
and adorned with Thy righteousness.

Worth It

In the past week, I've thought a lot about motherhood and the relationship between a mom and her children. From the horrific details of the Casey Anthony case to the amazing account of Jacey Dugard told in her book, A Stolen Life, to a blog post I read here, one in a series of blog posts on how women balance motherhood and their careers.

"Choice" is a popular vocab term that pops up. I'd really like to do a study on this word as it appears in the Bible. I'm guessing you'd be hard pressed to find it in the context of "a woman's right to choose." Yet so many women feel this way and not just in regards to abortion, but also in whether or not they should have a career. I understand that financial hardships exist and that for a time a mother may have to work, possibly even outside of the home. But hopefully her heart lines up with Titus 2:5 and Proverbs 31 and this circumstance would exist for only a short period of time.

Too often believer's start listening to the movies or shows they watch and begin to adopt the world's view on this matter. (Just as we are prone to do on any issue.) I am obviously not a mother so some may say I have no right to speak on this or that I have no idea what I'm talking about. It's true that I may not know how hard it is to be a mom (although I have a small clue from babysitting and teaching Kindergarten.) But either way the Bible is always where we are to look for the true standard. A well known verse that's not always easy to follow is Proverbs 3:5-7, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege Him, and He will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil."

How comforting that no matter how hard it may it be, or how confusing it might seem, if we listen and obey God's Word, we can trust that He will lead us where He wants us to go. And He is always faithful to provide for His children.

And a short word on abortion. A common argument in favor of abortion is, "Well what if a woman gets raped? She didn't choose to get pregnant!" Well read Jaycee Dugard's opinion on the matter:

"Despite years of torment, Dugard, who was kidnapped in 1991 at age 11 near her home in South Lake Tahoe, Calif., insists she would suffer it all again for the priceless reward of her beautiful, loving girls." (You can read more here.)

Did you hear that??? She would endure 18 years of rape and other tortures all over again to have her kids!!!

This perspective can be anyone's if they trust in the love and sovereignty of God.

In the Clouds

When I was little, my thoughts of heaven were obviously pretty limited. Hold on, I'm going to capitalize it like Randy Alcorn because it is a very real place and proper names of places are capitalized in correct grammar. Like I was saying, my thoughts on Heaven were not very profound. I loved the song that went, "When I get to Heaven gonna walk with/talk with Jesus, when I get to Heaven gonna see His face..." Actually, I still love that song. I pretty much assumed that I will be able to fly in Heaven and that I would feel no pain. Those three things along with seeing my grandparents again were the main things I focused on. I remember hoping the rapture would happen as a little kid. One day in particular, I was being carpooled home from school and I remember that the sky looked particularly amazing. (Much like this morning, as I was driving to work.) There were all these clouds and the sun was streaming through and everything was golden. It's funny, a lot of my memories as a kid are golden. Anyway, I thought, "Jesus HAS to be coming back right now!" Obviously I was wrong.



This morning, the morning of the election, I woke up with the funniest feeling. It was unusual. On Sunday night, Jeremy, Emily, Michelle and I were talking about the importance of using our time wisely because we could be meeting Jesus in the clouds very soon. (This was spurred on by what John was talking about Sunday night.) I don't know what's going to happen in the election. I don't know what's going to happen as a RESULT of the election. But I do know, that we are closer to seeing Jesus now than we ever have been. It could happen in a week, it could happen tomorrow, it could happen TONIGHT. I never felt that reality like I did this morning when I woke up.
If Jesus came tonight, who cares if my unsaved friend from high school is offended if I send her an email about the gospel? Who cares what I wear to work? Who cares whether or not "that guy" is interested in me (there's not anyone specific I am referring to :0) just to satisfy anyone's curiosity out there). None of that stuff matters if Jesus is coming tonight. My unsaved friend or relative NEEDS to hear about our loving Savior and what awaits her if she rejects Him, what anyone thinks about my appearance or whether or not I get married some day isn't really relevant because those are transient things.
What DOES matter is whether or not I live my life for God's glory because He IS truly worthy of my worship and He IS real and He IS returning. SOON! If I don't start living right now with the thought that the rapture could happen at any moment, when am I ever going to live that way?

1 John 2:28
"And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming."

1 Thessalonians 4:17
"Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord."

Prayer

I really love going to night church and last night especially. It was the second part of a two part sermon that John did and I missed the first one, so I was glad he did a review. It was on God's sufficient grace in trials and it was so uplifting. It was one of those messages where I feel like I just want to sit there forever and stay in that frame of mind. It's so easy to get up and get involved in a conversation with somebody that doesn't have anything to do with the message and then forget what you just heard. Anyway, we were reminded about how we are often driven to times of intense prayer when we are faced with a very difficult trial and, in a way, it's a sad commentary on our lives that it takes something like an extremely difficult trial to bring us to that point of such dependence on God.
This reminded me of something that I have been thinking and reading about recently. God tells us all throughout the Bible to pray to Him and to bring our requests before Him. To bring everything before Him. And He tells us that if we ask Him anything in His name (according to His will) He hears us and answers us.

Matthew 7:11 "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"
Luke 11:13 "...how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"
Matthew 21:22 "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."
Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
John 14:13 "Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son."
John 15:16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, He may give it to you."
John 16:24 "Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."
Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..."
James 1:5-6 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."
1 John 5:14-15 "And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him."

Again, why do I not come more often to God in prayer?! He has given us who know Him every spiritual blessing. I find it extremely encouraging, for example, that it is God's will that people be saved. It's also His will that I tell others about Him. If I pray that He would give me boldness to evangelize for His name's sake, and I pray for wisdom in this area with no doubting, then He promises to answer! He hears us! If I am seeking to honor Him in my life, in regards to a job, and I pray that He lead me and guide me to do what He wants me to do...and I pray about this with faith, He will answer! It's so comforting to know this! And I hope that anyone reading this may be encouraged as well. God is faithful!