Charlotte Zizipizgani Simwaka

Well, it's Saturday, February 6th and I had my second little girl two days ago.  I wanted to make sure I recorded her birth story before I get hazy on the details.  Charlotte arrived on her due date, Feb. 4th, 2016!  (Disclaimer:  Maybe don't read if you're a little squeamish.  Although I think I kept it pretty PG.)

On and off last week I had tons of Braxton Hicks and I'd go to bed and have a few false labor contractions.  I always knew they weren't the real deal because they were spaced far apart and never got very intense.  Wednesday morning, Kwacha and I went in for our last scheduled appointment with my OB.  He said that I was between 2-3 centimeters and she was ready to come anytime.  Because I have gestational diabetes with my pregnancies and I also had group b strep this time, he wanted to schedule an induction for that week.  We chose Saturday (which would have been today...crazy!) which seemed a bit early, but then our OB would be on call and he would be the one delivering her which we were happy about.  Still, I really wanted to go into labor naturally and that's what I was praying for.  I figured she had time!

Well, Wednesday night we went to sleep pretty late, around 12:30.  I didn't feel any differently than I had any other night (except I did have a little lower back pain when we went on a walk after dinner), so I thought I definitely wouldn't be going into labor.  Well, around 2:00 a.m. I started feeling those contractions again only this time they seemed a bit stronger.  After a few pretty intense ones I woke up Kwacha and told him that I thought this was it, but I wasn't positive, so we didn't need to get ready yet.  Well, a few minutes later they were coming every four minutes, so I decided to get up and do my makeup.  (With Shirley I didn't do that and I regretted it.  Ha!  I had told Kwacha that I didn't care how bad contractions were, I was getting ready this time.)  Kwacha called my mom and asked her to come over and stay with Shirley.  She was beyond excited.

Contractions continued to get more intense and closer together by now.  They were coming every 2-3 minutes and I had to stop what I was doing to get through them.  But I could still talk through them.  Kwacha called the hospital.  It was probably around 2:45 or 3 by this point.  Even though he told them that my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, lasting for about a minute, and that I had had them for close to an hour, they still told him that we should stay home for another hour or two!  Kwacha said, "Forget it.  We're coming in."

Up until this point, I had determined that I was going to stay home as long as possible, that I would try and wait to get an epidural until I was farther along than last time, so at least 6 centimeters.  (This was partly in case I have to have a drug free labor in Malawi someday.  I wanted to be prepared.)  But when my mom got to our place I had had enough of the pain!  I said that I didn't care what I had said before.  I was getting an epidural as soon as I got to the hospital!  And why would anyone not get an epidural??

So, Kwacha and I packed the car and drove off.  I had one strong contraction in the car.  I'm still so thankful that we are only five minutes away from the hospital!  When we got to Emergency I seemed fine but told them I was in labor.  Thankfully I had one right after I sat in the wheelchair so I maybe seemed a bit more legit?  Anyway, I was wheeled up, had one contraction on the way, and when we got to our L&D room they told me to change into the gown and give a urine sample.  Well, I had 3-4 contractions in the bathroom, probably less than a minute apart.  This is when I started to get a little concerned.

When I came out of the bathroom, no one was in the room.  Not even Kwacha.  I started to get a little panicky but then Kwacha came in.  I told him I didn't know what to do.  Should I sit?  The contractions just seemed so bad!  Well, I wound up sitting on the bed and the nurse came in and started asking me lots of questions and hooked me up to a monitor.  I was getting lots of contractions and was just miserable sitting on the bed.  I wondered...when is she going to check me?!  Finally she did and she quickly and calmly said, "You're an 8 - 9."  I just said, "Oh my word!  Can I get an epidural??"  And she replied, "Probably not.  I'm not going to lie to you."  I don't even know why I asked it.  I knew there was no way I'd be able to sit still long enough to get one.  As soon as she responded with that, I felt ready to throw up, not just because of the pain, but primarily because of fear.  I felt trapped.  I was not ready for this.  I had never taken a class on natural childbirth.

I started to tell Kwacha, "I can't do this! I can't do this!!"  But another nurse came in and they started getting me ready.  The pain was immense.  And the contractions were right on top of each other.  I always kinda wondered, do you really need to make all that noise when you're in labor?  Well, I was shocked at the sounds coming out of me.  It seemed like the only thing that could possibly help ease the pain.  Pretty soon the doctor was there and it was time to push.  The nurses told me to try and stop screaming and internalize that to power the baby out.  It seemed like the hardest thing to do at that point, but I did my best.  A ring of fire and three sets of pushes after that and she was out! It still amazes me how you can go from the worst pain imaginable to utter relief and bliss.  They laid a little slimy Charlotte on top of me and I was so happy it was all over and she was with us!  It was 4:15 a.m.  Just about two hours after contractions had started.  I had been at the hospital for only 45 minutes.  If Kwacha had listened to the lady who told us to stay at home for an hour, we wouldn't have made it!

All of Thursday I didn't even want to think back on the labor, it seemed like a horror film.  But two days after with a little sleep, it didn't seem all that bad.  God's Word tells the truth, the pain is forgotten with the joy of bringing a new little life into the world.  I still will definitely get an epidural next time if humanly possible!  Ha!  But, at least I know it's possible and you survive!  (And I shouldn't even complain with such a short labor.)

I am just in awe of how God creates these beautiful little babies and gives us the privilege of raising them.  He is so good and a marvelous Creator!  We love our little Charlotte!

Musings

Just thinking about Malawi today as I look at pictures of our trip that was almost a year ago!  Hard to believe.  It's also hard to believe that Kwacha's sister, Evelyn, and our niece, Charity, are going to be here in less than a month!  So exciting.

I don't have much to say today besides that, and the fact that this is one of my favorite pictures of Kwacha.  Ever.  In the middle of a tea plantation.

It's love.

Shirley wasn't such a fan.

Hiking

Kwacha, Shirley and I have started a new thing.  Well, new for us.  We hike!  :)  Actually I wouldn't even say that hiking is new for us, but habitual hiking is.  We've gone hiking in a number of places but we've landed on a favorite.  The above picture is my favorite spot on the trail and it pretty much looks exactly like this.  I barely touched that photo.  

Going on frequent hikes has allowed us to see things we wouldn't see if we only went ever so often.  We have seen beetles (oh joy!), bunnies, caterpillars, frogs and even deer!  God is just such a brilliant Creator!  I love being out in His creation.  It's also a wonderful form of exercise.  I don't know of any other kind that is so enjoyable.  

The hills have been so green after the rain we had this year.  In these pictures, it's actually started to brown.  Can you believe that Santa Clarita was greener than this even?!

I also just love the time spent with Kwacha and Shirley.  I learn new things about my husband as we traipse through the mountains.  On Saturday night, I found out that he once killed a chicken by jumping on it accidentally.  He then plucked it, cooked it and ate it!  And he was only about 13 years old apparently.  That's what you get with an African husband.  :)

Kwacha spotted this gorgeous pack of lupines.  Have any of you ever read the story, Miss Rumphius? If you haven't, you should.  I always think of it when I see these flowers.

Anyway, I highly suggest hiking if you don't already do it!

Home Life

Sometimes I have whole heaps of things to write about, but most often words just do not come.  I think it's because life is pretty routine.  I get up, spend a little quiet time on my own, then I wake up Shirley (except she's usually already awake).  The two of us eat breakfast, I do the dishes and clean the bedroom.  Then Shirley and I spend a little time together until she goes down for her nap.  I (sometimes) work out, take a shower, eat lunch, read a little, email a little, call anyone I need to...then I wake her up again (except she's usually already awake.)  I feed Shirley her lunch and let her run around while I clean something.  Pretty soon Kwacha is home (it's so nice that he gets home around 2).  He plays with Shirley while I start dinner.  We eat, sometimes go on a hike, sometimes read, sometimes go grocery shopping (since we have the one car).  Then we come home, feed Shirley her dinner, give her a bath, put her to bed and then spend time together talking or watching I Love Lucy.  It may get routine, but I generally love it.
When I feel some complaining in my heart coming on, mostly over dishes, I try to remind myself that I am married to a fantastic husband and I have a sweet little daughter.  That's why there are dishes in the sink.  Doing dishes is now a reminder of the blessings God has given me.  Blessings I don't deserve.
Still there are times I get anxious or impatient or worried about things, mostly future things, sometimes present things.  The worst part about being anxious is...being anxious.  And yet, God tells us we don't have to be!  I mean, isn't that amazing?  We can bring anything and everything to Him and He will take care of it.  I can't remember exactly how it goes but one of my favorite quotes from Elisabeth Elliot is something like, "Restlessness and impatience affect nothing but our joy and peace."  I love that.  It's just something I have been thinking about a lot lately.
This post is starting to feel random so I think I'll just end on some random things about life:

-I started attending Every Woman's Grace about a month ago.  It's been such a blessing.  I love the Bible studies we receive each week.  The questions are deep and applicable and they really help reveal sin that I need to repent of while reminding me of the character of God.  I love the fellowship with other moms and older, wise women.  I am so thankful that my friend, Michelle, is able to drive Shirley and me.  (And her daughter Lucy is about six months older than Shirley and super sweet.  The first week they held hands in the parking lot as we were walking to the car.  ::melt::)  If you are reading this and you aren't able to go, I would suggest printing the lessons off the Grace Church website.  Especially if you don't know what to study at the moment.

-Kwacha's sister, Jellita, is coming to visit a week from tomorrow!  She's never been to the US and she will be staying for two weeks.  We have all kinds of fun things planned but mostly I am excited to see Shirley interact with her Auntie.  She LOVED her when we visited Malawi.  I am also looking forward to extended time with her so I can get to know her better.  :)  Please pray for her flight!  It is a long way to travel solo!

-And if anyone is wondering about Shirley, she's her usual cheerful, spunky self.  She can make lots of animal noises now.  She also says, All done, Oh Boy! and Hi and Buh-bye.  She blows kisses and has started to say No! after I say no.  (We're working on that one.)  She's a little independent one but still very friendly and she fills our hearts with joy.

With daddy at the zoo.

My One Year Old

Shirley is now one year old.  As of yesterday.  She's officially no longer considered a baby but a toddler!  What??!!  NO!!!!  Okay, I"m not really that sad, but it's definitely bittersweet.  I looked through a bunch of her pictures and videos yesterday along with the ones taken moments after she was born.  It made my heart hurt.  It just went by so fast.  She can never be a baby again and I now fully understand why every momma will tell you to treasure and savor each moment.  
How can I even begin to describe how much I love her?  I spent much of yesterday morning thanking God for her.  I read over Psalm 103.  It describes all that God has done for us.  He's forgiven us of ALL our sins, He's healed all of our diseases, He redeems us from the pit, He crowns us with lovingkindess and mercy.  All of that is WAY BEYOND what we deserve.  In fact, it's completely opposite of what we deserve.  And then He chooses to give us more blessings beyond all of that.  Blessings like my sweet little funny Shirley.  
She's now walking all over the place, like a little waddling penguin.  I have a bag of clothes of hers that I'm getting ready to donate (In fact, anyone have a little girl under a year that's in need of clothes?  Let me know!)  and she'll take one piece out at a time and walk around dragging it behind.  
She has started to make a surprised face all the time.  She forms her mouth into a large O and her eyes become wide as the moon.  
She blows kisses, and she finally started to give me little kisses!  She kinda just leans her mouth towards my face.  
She loves her little stuffed doggie and calls it "Dah-dee".  When I wake her up from nap time she has to grab him and bring him along.  
She loves everyone she meets and will reach out for complete strangers to hold her.  Emily let a random lady in Starbucks hold her the other day.  
I thought that being a new mom to a little baby would be so hard.  I thought I would be lonely at home.  I thought her cries would bug me.  I thought that I would get bored playing with simple toys and reading simple books to her.  I thought I would still love being a mom but I didn't realize how much!  I don't mind if she's my only company during the day.  Her cries make my heart break, even when she's crying out of sinful anger.  I could spend hours (maybe) playing with her and snuggling with her as we fight over who turns the pages of her books!  
When I woke her up yesterday morning the sudden brightness of the light caused her to look at me all squinty-eyed and she smiled a sweet little smile.  I picked her up and she snuggled her head on my shoulder for almost two minutes!  (A rare thing for this always-on-the-go girl.)  It was like a little gift to me on her birthday.  I realized her birthday is more like mine because I'm the one who got the greatest little gift the day she was born.  I'm almost in tears just thinking of it and God's goodness.  
Some wondered why Kwacha and I wanted to have a baby right away, but I don't care what anyone thinks about it.  We wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  Shirley has brought us even closer, figuring out how to care for a little newborn, noticing little bits of each of us in her face.  We get to thank God for her together and depend on Him even more for wisdom in how to raise her.  Most of all we pray that one day she might know Him, love Him and serve Him and experience that greatest joy of all, being with Him for eternity.  
Thanks for reading about Shirley this past year and sharing in our joy.  We are thankful for all of you too!

9 Months

As per usual I am a little behind again in posting about Shirley.  Poor second child.  I'm definitely not planning on doing the monthly update again, maybe just a monthly picture.  

Usually I'm the one taking the pictures around here, but the one above was taken by her daddy!  I love that you can see her little teethies.  This month Shirley started pulling herself up on furniture, my legs, the dogs...okay not the dogs, she doesn't even know the dogs, but she'll pretty much pull herself up on anything.  

This little girl is such a character.  She makes the funniest noises and faces and she finally started saying "ma ma ma".  No, she doesn't know what it means yet, but someday!  She also learned how to clap and wave to friends.

Before I fell asleep last night I was looking at the picture of when I first met Shirley.  I will never forget that moment.  All those nine months I was wondering what she'd look like and what her little personality would be, and then I was so surprised to see that to me, she didn't look like either Kwacha or me, she just looked like her own person.  And now nine months later I just can't believe there was a time when she didn't exist.  I love her so much and daily thank God for her.  He is so kind and loving to give us such wonderful gifts.

Lilongwe

The majority of our time in Malawi was spent in Lilongwe where we plan on living when we move.  We stayed with Kwacha's sisters, Jellita (Jellie) and Evelyn, along with all the girl cousins.  (Shirley had the time of her life!)  Evelyn was up north working for the first part of our trip but we stopped and saw her on our way to Mzuzu and then we enjoyed more time with her at home later on.

Shirley meeting Auntie Evelyn for the first time

Hanging out on Auntie Jellie's back

We kept pretty busy in Lilongwe.  We spent a lot of time with family and we went to two different weddings!  Kwacha's friend, Kondi, did his first wedding while we were there and his whole church was invited so we went along.  It was pretty fancy, held in Area 10 where all the diplomats live.  It took place in a beautiful garden.  

Our plans are to be involved with Kondi's church plant when we move.  Kondi and Patricia Nyanda were able to come to California for the Truth Matters conference last October and we spent a lot of time with them, so I am thankful that I already have a friendship with Patricia.  They have two sweet kids, Warren and Karen.  There is also another couple, Newton and Vanessa Chilungulo, (they were sent out from Living Hope Church in South Africa to work with the church plant), who arrived in Malawi two weeks before we came.  Newton and Vanessa were both born in Malawi and they have a sweet little girl, Aya.  We were able to spend a lot of time with them as well and I already feel like I have known Vanessa for a long time.  She was so easy to talk to.  

Sunday morning at the church plant

The Chilungulo's, Nyanda's and Simwaka's

My Malawian friendies!

Karen and Shirley :)

We also spent some time with all the missionaries in Malawi sent out from Grace Community.  We had dinner one night with the Ayre's and the Floreen's and we had dessert another night at the Biedebach's.  CAPA, Central African Preaching Academy was recently launched in Lilongwe.  This is something they have been planning for a long time, so it's exciting to see it begin.  The plans are also for Kwacha to teach there when we move, alongside Jim Ayres.  

I am so sad that somehow I didn't get a picture with all the Ayre's and Floreen's.  :(  But here's one pic of Shirley and Naomi Floreen at least.  They are two months apart.

The Biedebach's.  Anita served one of Kwacha's favorite desserts, Mulva (sp?) pudding!

Since our trip was longer this time, we also had some days where we could just hang out at home.  This was so nice.  We went shopping a few times.  Malawi has some really nice grocery stores.  And Shirley loved spending time with her Aunties and cousins.  

Hanging out on Jellie's porch (My necklace and earrings were a gift from my nieces :)

Shirley enjoyed "skating" on the polished floors

Chipiku, one of the more popular grocery stores

Chigo and Shirl

This just may be my favorite pic from the trip.  It was actually on our drive home from Mzuzu.

When we visited Malawi the first time, I fell in love with the chitenjes.  They are useful in many ways; carrying babies on your back, keeping your clothes clean from the dust or while cooking, keeping your hair out of the way, etc.  I really wanted to get some last time but I never found a place where they were selling them.  This time Patricia helped me out and we got a whole bunch!

Mom and I sporting the chitenjes.  

I'll be back with more!  ;)  

Our Time in Mzuzu

It is really difficult to start a post about a two week trip to Malawi.  I've tried a couple times already!  It seems I either have to go into great detail or summarize.  I may just have to break it up into a number of posts.  We'll see.

This trip was so different than the last trip we took in 2012.  For one thing, it was twice as long.  Seriously, I can't believe we only went for six days last time and somehow managed to fit in as much as we did.  This time, half way through I kept thinking, "I can't believe that we were headed home at this point."

First off, I am so thankful that Shirley did well on the long flight.  By God's grace we were given the whole middle row on both long flights to and from Malawi, so Shirley had an extra seat all to herself. We were able to lay her down on a pillow and strap her in with the seatbelt and she could sleep or watch her little TV.  Toy Story was the movie of choice.  ;)  Then for the short flights, we took the advice of friends and put some pillows on top of the food trays and she was able to sleep.  It worked great!

So grown up!  :)

Another thing I am thankful for is that we were all healthy the whole time!  In 2012 I was having a lot of problems with my ulcerative colitis and I had a terrible cold.  It made such a difference feeling well and not being in a daze the entire time.  

The last major difference between the two trips is fairly obvious.  This time, Kwacha and I were married!  With a baby!  Last time we weren't even engaged.  It was such a blessing spending time with my new family rather than just meeting Kwacha's family.  It was wonderful having extended time with my new sisters and brother, my second mom and dad, and my nieces and to have Shirley meet them all for the first time!

The day after we arrived in Lilongwe we drove five hours north to Mzuzu where Kwacha's parents live.  The one bitter aspect of this trip is that three days before we left for Malawi, we found out that Kwacha's older brother, Granger, died.  It was very unexpected.  We're still not sure exactly what caused his death, but it sounds like it may have been a brain aneurism.  We are so thankful for God's timing though.  We had originally planned to go to Malawi in July but that didn't work out.  This way we were able to be there to help comfort the family.  Especially Shirley!  In her youthful ignorance to the situation, she was her normal, cheerful, funny self.  We truly think she helped lift everyone's spirits.   

The home in Mzuzu

Grandma (abuya) and Shirley's cousin, Chigo

Grandpa (seculu)

When we arrive in Mzuzu and got out of the car, I saw my niece, Chigo, and I started to say hi to her but she ignored me and went right for Shirley!  :)  Then she pretty much stayed by her side the rest of the trip, feeding her milk, playing with her and pretty much being a second mama.  We were happy to have her come along with us on most of our outings.  

We had such a wonderful time in Mzuzu.  We were able to stay for about three days.  We met so much of Kwacha's extended family as well.  They had all gotten back from Granger's funeral the day before and in their culture many people come to the home in order to give their condolences and comfort the family.  Groups from their church, their choir, and many other friends came.  Some would arrive wailing.  After people enter the house they greet everyone with a handshake, sometimes kneeling.  I really love this about the Malawian culture.  Everyone is so kind and respectful.  They truly show their care for each other.

Shirley with Abuya's friends

The lady on the left told my mom and me that she she is Shirley's grandma's best friend.  She talked with us for awhile and told us a little more about Malawian culture.  I really like her!

There were a few times where I didn't know where Shirley was.  On one such occasion I walked outside and found her here.  No need to worry.  ;)

Hanging out with her cousin, Charity

We were able to go on a few walks while we were there.  Kwacha, my mom and I visited Mzuzu University one morning and we saw where Kwacha's aunt used to work.  She was in charge of meals for a large group of people!  Kwacha lived with her for a year on campus so we also saw the little house they lived in.

The place where Kwacha's aunt worked

The house they lived in

Another day we went on a walk with our nieces to the Mzuzu coffee factory.  I don't drink coffee anymore but I'm told it's delicious!  It was fun seeing more of the neighborhood and watching Shirley being carried around in a chitenje by her older cousin, Ruth.  (We like to call her Hite.)

On the last night we were there, Kwacha, my mom and I walked over to the church that Kwacha's parents attend.  A traveling choir from Zambia had come and they had a friendly sing off with the local church's choir...starting around 10 p.m. at night!  One of my favorite things about this was that a number of women had their babies with them strapped on their back, fast asleep!  I loved it.  And their voices are amazing.  I will try and post a video later of their beautiful voices.

It was sad to leave the next day.  We look forward to spending more time with his parents in the future.  Kwacha loves going to Mzuzu because it's a more relaxed place than Lilongwe.  When you want to get away from Lilongwe for a bit, Mzuzu is the perfect place.  

So it looks like I couldn't write all about our trip in one post.  So there's Mzuzu for you!