On Becoming a Wife (Lessons I've Learned from my Husband)

You can hope and dream and pray and think (a little song is coming to mind) but I just don't think you can prepare enough for marriage.  There is something about being in the actual trenches that teaches you what you really need to know.  It reminds me of my days in the teaching credential program.  We learned lots of techniques and theories and they were all great and helpful.  But I had no idea what teaching was really like until I was up in front of that classroom with live children who all had real hearts and minds and...well...ants in their pants!  (You know what I mean.)

What I could not have anticipated was how much my husband would help me become a wife.  I'm not trying to diminish anything from my mom or other faithful women in my life.  Of course I learned much from their counsel and wisdom and still do.  But what can I say?  I married well, and I couldn't have imagined all that was in store for me just by marrying Kwacha.  

So over the next few weeks I'm going to cover a different skill or trait or whatever you want to call it that has started to improve in my life because of Kwacha.  Ultimately because of God since He works in Kwacha and in me and He gave Kwacha to me.  

The topics I will cover:

(Some are obviously more vital than others and the list below is in no particular order.)

1. Cleaning
2. Time Management
3. Discipline (Working Out and Eating Healthy)
4. Appearance
5. Getting Enough Sleep
6. Raising a Child
7. Cooking
8. Scheduling
9. Forgiveness
10. Love

So stay tuned.  If I have time during Shirley's next nap, I may post one today.  
Just a little p.s.  I am in no way trying to say that I am a great example in these areas or that I have learned all there is to know.  I mean, this should be obvious without me having to state it.  I just want to be helpful in the very few small things I have learned in my short time of being a wife.  

Thanks for reading! 

The Best Year of My Life

This is mucho late, but I wanted to acknowledge on the blog that Kwacha and I have been married for one whole year!  Well, now it's been a year and 17 days.  I can't believe all the amazing ways God has blessed me in such a short amount of time.  A person who doesn't deserve ANYTHING got a handsome, godly husband and a precious baby girl all within twelve months.  Wow.

I've mentioned many things that I love about Kwacha in the past so I won't add too much more now, but I will say that I never knew I would learn so much in being married.  You hear it all the time, "marriage is the most sanctifying relationship."  But it truly is. Which makes sense since it's supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church.  Kwacha is such a good picture of that.  I know that he desires to present me "holy and blameless" and he truly loves me as his own body.  (Ephesians 5)

We went away for a small little trip two weeks ago and had such a good time reflecting on this last year and the ways that God has grown us together.  We are just amazed that God can take a guy from Malawi, Africa and a girl from Saugus, California and fit us together just right.  As my friend, Lindsey, put it; you come to know your spouse so well that you usually know what they're thinking in certain situations.  Now I can't imagine life without Kwacha.  He knows just how to encourage me, to make me laugh, to correct me, to have fun.  I love him so much!  I can't wait to see what God continues to do in our lives together.  I just pray that we would bring much glory to Him!

Kinda random picture of him, but ain't he cute? :)

Just Three Things

At the young, tender age of five I knew that I wanted to get married and have kids one day.  I pretty much always had a "crush" after that.  So I did not think that dating and everything that comes along with it would be so difficult and confusing, as I've written about previously.

Nothing that I am now going to say will be new to you most likely, but I still hope it will be helpful.  Just because I'm married doesn't mean I have all the answers now, but it has given me a fresh perspective on what really matters.

Obviously it's important to marry someone you can have fun with!  This is a random stranger that decided to jump in the picture with us.  ;)

There are many things that I thought were SO important to look for in a potential spouse when I was still single.  But being married, I now realize that there are really only a few basic things that are really needful.  

1. A sincere love for God.

I know, I know this one is obvious, but how often have you thought, "Well he's a Christian so that's good enough."  Does he truly live out what he says he believes?  Does he lead you in meaningful conversations about the Lord, and not just because he should, but because he loves talking about Him?  Does his example encourage you to grow in your love for God as well?  

Kwacha's love for God was and is a daily example for me.

Before I was married I said that the top two things I was looking for in a guy were a love for God and a sense of humor.  Yes a love for God was important to me, but if I was honest, the sense of humor deal was really at the top of the list.  Because of that I almost let Kwacha go.  Big mistake!  For one thing, he IS funny.  Maybe a different funny than what I originally was looking for, but honestly he makes me laugh all the time.  The second thing is (and a few people told me this while Kwacha and I were dating) that you and your husband's senses of humor grow together so much.  It's weird but true!  The third thing is, it's just not that important.  When you face a big trial in life, say you lose a baby or a job or a home, are you going to want a husband who reminds you to trust God or someone who can make a whole room bust up in laughter?

And yes I know the two do not have to be mutually exclusive, but which one is MORE important?  Don't just write a guy off because he may not like The Office.  

On our honeymoon.  The forest above Palm Springs.

2. Humility and leadership.

I know those are two things but I put them together because they go hand in hand.  Kwacha is a joy to follow because he is humble.

I always thought I wanted to marry a really confident guy full of swagger and charm.  But hey guess what, the Bible says that charm is deceitful!  And really, it is.  Do you want to marry a guy who's charming now only to find out later that he's...not so charming?  Like maybe all he does when he's home is watch TV and play video games.  I'll tell you what's charming to me now; a husband who helps me chop veggies and clean dishes and change dirty diapers.  A husband who gets home and gives me a kiss and cuddles our little girl and talks to me about his day, willingly!  A husband who likes to go on walks and eat pizza at Topper's because it's affordable.  A husband who corrects me when I sin in the most gentle and encouraging way.  And Kwacha is confident in a humble way.  He knows he's a sinner saved by grace and loved and chosen by God.  And he would probably be upset to know that I'm writing all this stuff about him publicly!

The last day of our honeymoon.

3. Love for others.

I don't know why this wasn't something I thought about much before I was married, but it is so nice to be married to someone who loves my family and friends so much.  When I was first dating Kwacha, I mean like after the first date, I got a little worried one Sunday night that maybe he didn't really like me all that much because I thought he spent the night talking to my sister and friend more than me!  But it's just because he was genuinely interested in them as well.  He wanted to get to know my family and friends.  He even had my cousin, Jeremy, be one of the groomsmen in our wedding.  I love that he enjoys spending time with them!

Up in the Sequoias.

Nerds.

Um, P.S. I'm pregnant with Shirley in this picture.

And that's about it, folks.  That's my new list, looking back.  There are other things that are important.  I'd say that you should definitely be attracted to your husband.  I think you should have some similar interests.  But again, these things grow SO MUCH once you're married to a good one.  If you found a guy with those things I mentioned above, you're going to find yourself more and more attracted to him and when you spend a lot of time together many of his interests will magically become yours too.  I never thought I would enjoy watching soccer, of all things!

Please don't let superficial things bug you when you're dating!  Please please PLEASE!  If you find his laugh a little weird, or you're just not sure about that hair of his or maybe he's just a little shorter than what you imagined...some of those things are going to become your favorite things about him, if you let them.  I'm not kidding!

Besides what makes you so deserving of the perfect man?  So much of that stuff is just so selfish!

I've had nightmares in which I turned Kwacha down and regretted it so much!  I can't imagine my life without him now.

Please don't write a good guy off!

The "Forgotten" Pictures: Getting Ready

Okay, these are officially the last pictures that I am posting from my wedding.  Again, these were taken by Jessica Waymeyer.  Who is still in high school!  I'm telling you, so talented already!

Another talented friend, Brooke Johnson, did my makeup and a few other girls.  She's very talented too!

My mom and technology.  ;)

My beautiful sister.

Don't know what they're talking about here, but it looks serious.

I had always wanted one of these hangers one day, and a sweet girl in my small group, Lindsey Nardone, got one for me!

Yet another talented friend, Josh Rivas, fixing my hair.

The faithful sister with her bright nails came with.

Our last single sister walk.

And then I fixed her hair at home.

The only picture of my shoes that day!  :(

Sweet friends!

On our way out!

The "Forgotten" Photos : Decor

 The following pictures were taken by my friend, Jessica Waymeyer.  She is mucho taliente (is that a word) and she took some of the behind-the-scenes picture at my wedding.

All the decorations were designed by my friend, Briana Tejada of the new Thread and Sow!  Check out her site and get her to do your next event!

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