My Favorite Milestone

Charlotte laughed for the first time today!  That's all I wanted to say.  And, also maybe that I'm a little obsessed with this baby!!

Charlotte Zizipizgani Simwaka

Well, it's Saturday, February 6th and I had my second little girl two days ago.  I wanted to make sure I recorded her birth story before I get hazy on the details.  Charlotte arrived on her due date, Feb. 4th, 2016!  (Disclaimer:  Maybe don't read if you're a little squeamish.  Although I think I kept it pretty PG.)

On and off last week I had tons of Braxton Hicks and I'd go to bed and have a few false labor contractions.  I always knew they weren't the real deal because they were spaced far apart and never got very intense.  Wednesday morning, Kwacha and I went in for our last scheduled appointment with my OB.  He said that I was between 2-3 centimeters and she was ready to come anytime.  Because I have gestational diabetes with my pregnancies and I also had group b strep this time, he wanted to schedule an induction for that week.  We chose Saturday (which would have been today...crazy!) which seemed a bit early, but then our OB would be on call and he would be the one delivering her which we were happy about.  Still, I really wanted to go into labor naturally and that's what I was praying for.  I figured she had time!

Well, Wednesday night we went to sleep pretty late, around 12:30.  I didn't feel any differently than I had any other night (except I did have a little lower back pain when we went on a walk after dinner), so I thought I definitely wouldn't be going into labor.  Well, around 2:00 a.m. I started feeling those contractions again only this time they seemed a bit stronger.  After a few pretty intense ones I woke up Kwacha and told him that I thought this was it, but I wasn't positive, so we didn't need to get ready yet.  Well, a few minutes later they were coming every four minutes, so I decided to get up and do my makeup.  (With Shirley I didn't do that and I regretted it.  Ha!  I had told Kwacha that I didn't care how bad contractions were, I was getting ready this time.)  Kwacha called my mom and asked her to come over and stay with Shirley.  She was beyond excited.

Contractions continued to get more intense and closer together by now.  They were coming every 2-3 minutes and I had to stop what I was doing to get through them.  But I could still talk through them.  Kwacha called the hospital.  It was probably around 2:45 or 3 by this point.  Even though he told them that my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, lasting for about a minute, and that I had had them for close to an hour, they still told him that we should stay home for another hour or two!  Kwacha said, "Forget it.  We're coming in."

Up until this point, I had determined that I was going to stay home as long as possible, that I would try and wait to get an epidural until I was farther along than last time, so at least 6 centimeters.  (This was partly in case I have to have a drug free labor in Malawi someday.  I wanted to be prepared.)  But when my mom got to our place I had had enough of the pain!  I said that I didn't care what I had said before.  I was getting an epidural as soon as I got to the hospital!  And why would anyone not get an epidural??

So, Kwacha and I packed the car and drove off.  I had one strong contraction in the car.  I'm still so thankful that we are only five minutes away from the hospital!  When we got to Emergency I seemed fine but told them I was in labor.  Thankfully I had one right after I sat in the wheelchair so I maybe seemed a bit more legit?  Anyway, I was wheeled up, had one contraction on the way, and when we got to our L&D room they told me to change into the gown and give a urine sample.  Well, I had 3-4 contractions in the bathroom, probably less than a minute apart.  This is when I started to get a little concerned.

When I came out of the bathroom, no one was in the room.  Not even Kwacha.  I started to get a little panicky but then Kwacha came in.  I told him I didn't know what to do.  Should I sit?  The contractions just seemed so bad!  Well, I wound up sitting on the bed and the nurse came in and started asking me lots of questions and hooked me up to a monitor.  I was getting lots of contractions and was just miserable sitting on the bed.  I wondered...when is she going to check me?!  Finally she did and she quickly and calmly said, "You're an 8 - 9."  I just said, "Oh my word!  Can I get an epidural??"  And she replied, "Probably not.  I'm not going to lie to you."  I don't even know why I asked it.  I knew there was no way I'd be able to sit still long enough to get one.  As soon as she responded with that, I felt ready to throw up, not just because of the pain, but primarily because of fear.  I felt trapped.  I was not ready for this.  I had never taken a class on natural childbirth.

I started to tell Kwacha, "I can't do this! I can't do this!!"  But another nurse came in and they started getting me ready.  The pain was immense.  And the contractions were right on top of each other.  I always kinda wondered, do you really need to make all that noise when you're in labor?  Well, I was shocked at the sounds coming out of me.  It seemed like the only thing that could possibly help ease the pain.  Pretty soon the doctor was there and it was time to push.  The nurses told me to try and stop screaming and internalize that to power the baby out.  It seemed like the hardest thing to do at that point, but I did my best.  A ring of fire and three sets of pushes after that and she was out! It still amazes me how you can go from the worst pain imaginable to utter relief and bliss.  They laid a little slimy Charlotte on top of me and I was so happy it was all over and she was with us!  It was 4:15 a.m.  Just about two hours after contractions had started.  I had been at the hospital for only 45 minutes.  If Kwacha had listened to the lady who told us to stay at home for an hour, we wouldn't have made it!

All of Thursday I didn't even want to think back on the labor, it seemed like a horror film.  But two days after with a little sleep, it didn't seem all that bad.  God's Word tells the truth, the pain is forgotten with the joy of bringing a new little life into the world.  I still will definitely get an epidural next time if humanly possible!  Ha!  But, at least I know it's possible and you survive!  (And I shouldn't even complain with such a short labor.)

I am just in awe of how God creates these beautiful little babies and gives us the privilege of raising them.  He is so good and a marvelous Creator!  We love our little Charlotte!

Blessed Assurance

I am writing this post today in hopes of it being helpful to someone out there.  
Anyone who knows me well, knows that in the past I greatly struggled with assurance of salvation.  I guess I should give a little background first.  When I was five, my best friend at the time told me that to become a Christian, I had to ask Jesus into my heart.  I even remember where we were standing.  It was after school got out and we were right outside the bookstore at Grace Community Church.  I had never known a time when I did not know who Jesus is.  I was attracted to everything I knew about Him.  Why would I not want to be a Christian?  Of course I prayed the prayer with her.  Was I saved at that time?  I don't know for sure.  I can't remember what I thought about sin.  I knew I was a sinner, I knew that Jesus died for sin on the cross, but I don't remember having an understanding of repentance and turning from that sin.  

I'm also not sure when I started doubting whether I was truly saved, but I think it may have been sometime in Junior High.  That's when I started having a "quiet time."  (Time reading the Bible and praying.)  I did this with a very legalistic mindset though.  I felt that I needed to spend some time reading the Bible and then I could watch TV the rest of the night.  It was mostly a duty to me, although in High School I know I started enjoying reading the Bible.  But I remember lying in my bed at night, wondering if I should tell my mom that I was scared to die.  "If I tell her", I thought, "she will be so upset to find out that I may not be a Christian."  I'm sure I said "the prayer" over and over.  

Well, fast forward to September 11, 2001.  My family was in Hawaii on vacation.  (The only time I've ever been to Hawaii.)  It was my senior year of High School.  I remember that morning that I spent some time in the Word and I sang a few hymns on the balcony of our hotel looking out at the water.  I felt pretty good about everything.  Then my dad got a call from his boss at work and he told us to turn on the TV.  The first thing I saw was the World Trade Center on fire with the words, "America Attacked."  To say it kind of killed our vacation is an understatement.  From that moment on I was TERRIFIED.  I did not want to get on a plane to go home for fear that terrorists would take over our plane as well!  (However unlikely that would have been.)  I was extremely afraid to die.  So what did that have to say about my salvation?  

For years after that I struggled.  I started doubting everything, including whether or not God existed.  I desperately wanted to believe that He did, but I just wasn't sure.  How could I be saved if I was doubting even God's existence?  Sometimes I couldn't eat.  I thought that if God determined from the beginning of time who would be saved, and He had decided not to save me, then what was the point in living?  Except I was terrified to die so suicide was definitely not an option.  I felt scared and trapped and deeply depressed.  Things only started turning around when I poured out my heart to God and spent time reading His Word.  

Can I say that I think every person raised in the church needs to deal with these questions at some point?  It's not enough to say that if we have Christian parents we are Christian's.  No one is born a believer, we are all born sinners, hating God and loving our own sin.  

I remember later on that year, my High School Bible study leader asked to hear my testimony and at the end he said, you didn't mention anything about your sin.  This sent me into waves of terror again, but it was a good question.  I knew I was a sinner but did I really understand that it was so awful that I was deserving hell because of it?  

In college I really wrestled with this concept of sin and a new worry was forming.  Was I sorry enough for my sin?  I rarely cried over my sin.  Did I hate it enough?  Did I really repent if I wasn't constantly in tears over it?  

I found this quote sometime in college and it's been in a notebook of mine ever since.  I read it in Saved Without a Doubt by John MacArthur.  The main quote is from Ironside.  I don't know his first name, I just have Ironside written down.  :)  It goes like this:

"Test yourself in this way.  You once lived in sin and loved it.  Do you now desire deliverance from it?  You were once self-confident and trusting in your own fancied goodness.  Do you now judge yourself as a sinner before God?  You once sought to hide from God and rebelled against His authority.  Do you now look up to Him, desiring to know Him, and to yield yourself to Him?  IF you can honestly say "yes" to these questions, you have repented...and remember, it is not the amount of repentance that counts; it is the fact that you turn from self to God that puts you in the place where His grace avails through Jesus Christ.  Strictly speaking, not one of us have ever repented enough.  None of us has realized the enormity of our guilt as God sees it.  But when we judge ourselves and trust the Savior whom He has provided we are saved through His merits.  As recipients of His lovingkindness, repentance will be deepened and will continue day by day, as we learn more and more of His infinite worth and our own unworthiness."  

And John added to that, "Do you see the impulses of the new nature in your life?  If so, that's indicative of salvation.  If God's will has become your highest joy, and submission to His lordship your greatest delight, you are indeed a child of God - no matter how strong the pull of sin."  

A few years later I was still struggling when I was at the Resolved conference. One night we sang "Rock of Ages" and it became one of my favorite hymns.  

Here are a couple of verses:

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy riven side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Cleanse me from its guilt and power.

Not the labors of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone. 

John MacArthur has another saying that I have always loved, "It's not perfection, but direction."  

These things were all helpful but I think the thing that really helped settle me was dwelling on God's love for me and what Jesus did on the cross.  I finally realized that good works did not come from trying really hard.  Good works can NEVER save you.  That's super comforting because we can never do enough good works.  God saved me by His grace alone.  He gave me faith in Him.  And because of that faith and that joy that comes from that knowledge, I am a new person.  I want to obey!  It's from the heart!  It's not perfect.  Go read Romans 7.  But that new heart is there!  

A recent joy has been studying 1 John at Every Woman's Grace.  This book, like no other, has deepened my assurance.  That's why it was written!  (1 John 5:13 - "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.")  A true believer believes that Jesus is the Son of God, they obey Him and they love others.  It's as simple as that.  Is that obedience and love perfect right now?  No, but it's there and growing and one day will be made perfect when we see Christ face to face!  

I love what Andrew Gutierrez (the previous High School pastor at GCC) would often say:
Something like, "When we are saved the rest of our life we live in obedience as a big 'thank you' back to God."

I'll end with "Blessed Assurance"

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! 
O what a foretaste of glory divine! 
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song, 
praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
angels descending bring from above
echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
watching and waiting, looking above
filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

If you're reading this and you don't truly know God or you are doubting whether or not you do, please please please talk to someone who does know Him!  

One last thing.  (Okay I guess I didn't really end up there.)  I am so thankful for the body of Christ, the church.  God gives us fellow believers to comfort, strengthen, lovingly rebuke and encourage.  There are SO MANY people over the years that really helped me with all this and I feel like I have to mention them!  

My High School small group leader, Holly.  I must have driven her crazy with my constant questions and concerns, but she was so patient and loving.  Christen, one of my best friends growing up. My college roomie and High School friend, Melissa.  My college Bible study leader and his wife, Clint and Kim.    They had me over one night to their place and gave me many verses and helped me think through things and they talked with me other times too.  Heather.  She talked with me at a college retreat once and wrote me a super long email that I still have to this day somewhere. Beth, one of my Junior High teachers and later I had her in college too!  She talked with me in her office one day.  Glenna, Nicole and Mariejtie.  All three of them discipled me in and after college.  My pastors and the many helpful sermons they preached, John MacArthur and Rick Holland.  And most of all my parents and sister.  They put up with everything for years!  And they were so patient and loving and helpful all the way through.  There are so many others.  God used each of you in my life and I am so thankful. 

My One Year Old

Shirley is now one year old.  As of yesterday.  She's officially no longer considered a baby but a toddler!  What??!!  NO!!!!  Okay, I"m not really that sad, but it's definitely bittersweet.  I looked through a bunch of her pictures and videos yesterday along with the ones taken moments after she was born.  It made my heart hurt.  It just went by so fast.  She can never be a baby again and I now fully understand why every momma will tell you to treasure and savor each moment.  
How can I even begin to describe how much I love her?  I spent much of yesterday morning thanking God for her.  I read over Psalm 103.  It describes all that God has done for us.  He's forgiven us of ALL our sins, He's healed all of our diseases, He redeems us from the pit, He crowns us with lovingkindess and mercy.  All of that is WAY BEYOND what we deserve.  In fact, it's completely opposite of what we deserve.  And then He chooses to give us more blessings beyond all of that.  Blessings like my sweet little funny Shirley.  
She's now walking all over the place, like a little waddling penguin.  I have a bag of clothes of hers that I'm getting ready to donate (In fact, anyone have a little girl under a year that's in need of clothes?  Let me know!)  and she'll take one piece out at a time and walk around dragging it behind.  
She has started to make a surprised face all the time.  She forms her mouth into a large O and her eyes become wide as the moon.  
She blows kisses, and she finally started to give me little kisses!  She kinda just leans her mouth towards my face.  
She loves her little stuffed doggie and calls it "Dah-dee".  When I wake her up from nap time she has to grab him and bring him along.  
She loves everyone she meets and will reach out for complete strangers to hold her.  Emily let a random lady in Starbucks hold her the other day.  
I thought that being a new mom to a little baby would be so hard.  I thought I would be lonely at home.  I thought her cries would bug me.  I thought that I would get bored playing with simple toys and reading simple books to her.  I thought I would still love being a mom but I didn't realize how much!  I don't mind if she's my only company during the day.  Her cries make my heart break, even when she's crying out of sinful anger.  I could spend hours (maybe) playing with her and snuggling with her as we fight over who turns the pages of her books!  
When I woke her up yesterday morning the sudden brightness of the light caused her to look at me all squinty-eyed and she smiled a sweet little smile.  I picked her up and she snuggled her head on my shoulder for almost two minutes!  (A rare thing for this always-on-the-go girl.)  It was like a little gift to me on her birthday.  I realized her birthday is more like mine because I'm the one who got the greatest little gift the day she was born.  I'm almost in tears just thinking of it and God's goodness.  
Some wondered why Kwacha and I wanted to have a baby right away, but I don't care what anyone thinks about it.  We wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  Shirley has brought us even closer, figuring out how to care for a little newborn, noticing little bits of each of us in her face.  We get to thank God for her together and depend on Him even more for wisdom in how to raise her.  Most of all we pray that one day she might know Him, love Him and serve Him and experience that greatest joy of all, being with Him for eternity.  
Thanks for reading about Shirley this past year and sharing in our joy.  We are thankful for all of you too!

11 Months

I can't believe there is only one month left until Shirley is one year old!  This month has been full of new things for Shirley:

She has started taking steps.  She usually only takes one or two, but one day she took six or seven!  I was home alone with her and pretty much went crazy.  It might have scared her because she hasn't done it since.  I'm not really complaining though.  I know it will come soon enough!

Shirley also learned how to climb stairs (and how to get back down).  Now we have to keep a strict eye on her at my mom's house.

She copies everything her mama and daddy does.  She evens copies my mom's dogs!

Speaking of dogs, she discovered Maggie and Tacy this month and she LOVES them.  She's not afraid of them at all.  She'll pet them and stick her finger in their mouths and laugh at them.  I took her over to the back door one day when the dogs were outside and Tacy jumped up on the glass right near Shirley's face but she didn't even blink.  (Her fearlessness may not be a good thing.)

Whenever I tell Shirley "no" or say "Shirley" in a serious tone she shakes her head back and forth.

She also started saying some words and she started pointing at things in books.  Shirley loves her rubber ducky at bath time and she often will say "duh, duh" while she's playing with it.  We checked out a book from the library last week called "Time for Bed, Fred!"  It's a book about a dog finding his bed.  At one point he splashes in a mud puddle and gets all dirty so he has to take a bath.  Well, there's a rubber ducky on that page and she surprised me one day by pointing to the duck and saying "duh"!  Now every time we read it she does the same thing!
At meal times when she's in her chair I tell her to raise her arms up so that I can snap on the tray and now she'll repeat me and say "up, up".  She also loves to say "hi" and she'll wave while she says it and sometimes she'll repeat the word, "baby".

I love this little girl so much.  It's so cliche to say but it is so hard to imagine that there was a point in life where she didn't exist.  She brings her daddy and me so much joy with her sweetness and spunkiness.  I just love being her mama!

Sovereignty in the Details

During the wee hours of Sunday morning my Uncle Gary's gallbladder ruptured.  We weren't sure if there were other problems involved but it wound up only being his gallbladder.  He had surgery that night and is now in recovery and he is going to be okay.  We are all so grateful.
Another little something happened on Sunday and I hesitated in writing this at first, just because I know my own heart and how easy it is to seek attention for silly things.  But I am just so thankful to God in the way He kept my little family safe and when I think about it, it reminds me of His loving care and sovereignty.
On Sunday afternoon as we headed back home from church, Kwacha, Shirley and I got in a little accident.  We skidded a bit on some large puddles right before a giant wave hit our windshield and completely blocked our view of the road.  We crashed into yellow sand barrels, which protected us from hitting a concrete barrier, but which also sent us back into the lane.  Kwacha lost control of the car and we clipped, of all things, a tow truck!  We didn't have to wait around for CHP in the rain.  (Don't worry, we DID file a report with our insurance later that day.)  The tow truck owner was on his way back to his lot with an empty truck.  So he took us home and then took our car back to the lot with him.  Our car was definitely totaled but we all came out without a single injury, not even whiplash.
I mean, God is in the details, isn't He??  We could have crashed into anything after that wave hit our windshield, but we hit sand barrels put their for our safety.  We could have crashed into another car causing injury to others but we didn't.  Out of all cars we hit a tow truck!  His truck was fine and he was able to take us home immediately.  And on top of that, God protected my sweet husband and precious baby.
He could have not spared us and He would still be just as good and sovereign.  He could not have spared Uncle Gary and yet He would still be just as good and sovereign.  I thought of Philippians 2:7 where Paul talks about how God had mercy on Epaphroditus when He spared him from death.  He never has to spare us from death, but it is always by His mercy when He does.  I am so thankful that I serve such a loving, powerful God!

9 Months

As per usual I am a little behind again in posting about Shirley.  Poor second child.  I'm definitely not planning on doing the monthly update again, maybe just a monthly picture.  

Usually I'm the one taking the pictures around here, but the one above was taken by her daddy!  I love that you can see her little teethies.  This month Shirley started pulling herself up on furniture, my legs, the dogs...okay not the dogs, she doesn't even know the dogs, but she'll pretty much pull herself up on anything.  

This little girl is such a character.  She makes the funniest noises and faces and she finally started saying "ma ma ma".  No, she doesn't know what it means yet, but someday!  She also learned how to clap and wave to friends.

Before I fell asleep last night I was looking at the picture of when I first met Shirley.  I will never forget that moment.  All those nine months I was wondering what she'd look like and what her little personality would be, and then I was so surprised to see that to me, she didn't look like either Kwacha or me, she just looked like her own person.  And now nine months later I just can't believe there was a time when she didn't exist.  I love her so much and daily thank God for her.  He is so kind and loving to give us such wonderful gifts.

"The Love of Christ constraineth us." 2 Cor. 5:14

"How much you owe unto your Lord!  Has He ever done anything for you?  Has He forgiven your sins?  Has He covered you with a robe of righteousness?  Has He set your feet upon a rock?  Has He established your goings?  Has He prepared heaven for you?  Has He prepared you for heaven?  Has He written your name in His book of life?  Has He given you countless blessings?  Has He laid up for you a store of mercies, which eye has not seen nor ear heard?

  

Then do something for Jesus, which is worthy of His love.  Give not a mere wordy offering to a dying Redeemer.  How will you feel when your Master comes, if you have to confess that you did nothing for Him - but kept your love shut up, like a stagnant pool, not flowing forth to His work.  Out on such love as that!

What do men think of a love which never shows itself in action?  Why, they say, 'Open rebuke is better than secret love.'  Who will accept a love so weak - that it does not actuate you to a single deed of self-denial, of generosity, of heroism, or zeal!  Think how He has loved you, and given Himself for you!  Do you know the power of that love?  Then let it be like a rushing mighty wind to your soul - to sweep out the clouds of your worldliness, and clear away the mists of sin.  

'For Christ's sake' be this the tongue of fire that shall sit upon you; 'for Christ's sake' be this the divine rapture, the heavenly affection to bear you aloft from earth; the divine spirit that shall make you bold as lions and swift as eagles in your Lord's service.  Love should give wings to the feet of service, and strength to the arms of labor.

Fixed on God with a constancy that is not to be shaken, resolute to honor Him with a determination that is not to be turned aside, and pressing on with an ardor never to be wearied - let us manifest the constraints of love to Jesus.  May the divine loadstone draw us heavenward towards itself!"

-Spurgeon

Eight Months

Shirley turned eight months right after we got home from Malawi.  A lot of things happened this month.  Shirley flew in a plane across the ocean, she started pulling herself up on furniture, and two of her teeth grew in.  (I'd let you see, but I didn't want to have to add another crying picture.)

She still has to don a headband to avoid the "he's so cute" comments. 

Shirley has definitely started to reveal that she has a...ahem...will of her own.  It is clear that she understands the word, "no."  If she starts to touch something she knows she's not supposed to touch and I say "No, Shirley," she'll stop and look at me and grunt, making it clear that she's not happy about it.  Oh dear.  It starts already.

Yep.  Mischievousness right there.

As you can see, she's still growing like a weed!  

As always we love our little Shirley girl!

Shirley at Seven Months

So I think this may be a record for me.  This might be the fastest I've ever gotten Shirley's monthly pictures up.  But we're leaving for Malawi in less than two weeks, so a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.  

This girl is just so much fun!  I always hoped that my kids would have personality, but I always feared that they wouldn't in the end.  Well, Shirley did not disappoint.  

Shirl girl had some pretty big milestones this month.  She went from army crawling to full on crawling and she is starting to pull herself up on furniture, mostly on her knees but sometimes on her tiptoes as well.  She is quite the explorer and she is getting into everything!  But I think I said that last time.  

She also loves to talk.  Her favorite thing to say is "da da."  Every time I tell her to say "mama" she says, "da da da."  Whatever, Kwacha, she doesn't know that it means Daddy yet!

She also loves to squeal and laugh.  She loves when her daddy comes home and they get to play on the couch.  She loves walks with friends.  She still doesn't cry much unless she's really hungry or tired.

Of course we still have moments like in the picture below.  ;)  She's not a perfect angel, but we just adore her.

Seriously, could I love this kid any more than I do?

A lot of people seem surprised that she's crawling already.  I don't know what it is.  I think she has her daddy's natural strength and we do give her a lot of floor time.  Mostly because she likes it and I never wanted her to be a kid that cries as soon as you set her down.  I just never want to sound like I'm bragging.  Our kids all reach milestones at different times but in two years, they're all going to pretty much be at the same spot.  

The Bible says that "children are a blessing from the Lord."  That's all kids.  I don't find the Bible making any exceptions or caveats in that regard.  Whether your kid is happy or cranky, cries a lot or smiles a lot, he or she is a blessing.  Isn't God just so good?!

On Becoming a Wife (Lessons I've Learned from my Husband)

You can hope and dream and pray and think (a little song is coming to mind) but I just don't think you can prepare enough for marriage.  There is something about being in the actual trenches that teaches you what you really need to know.  It reminds me of my days in the teaching credential program.  We learned lots of techniques and theories and they were all great and helpful.  But I had no idea what teaching was really like until I was up in front of that classroom with live children who all had real hearts and minds and...well...ants in their pants!  (You know what I mean.)

What I could not have anticipated was how much my husband would help me become a wife.  I'm not trying to diminish anything from my mom or other faithful women in my life.  Of course I learned much from their counsel and wisdom and still do.  But what can I say?  I married well, and I couldn't have imagined all that was in store for me just by marrying Kwacha.  

So over the next few weeks I'm going to cover a different skill or trait or whatever you want to call it that has started to improve in my life because of Kwacha.  Ultimately because of God since He works in Kwacha and in me and He gave Kwacha to me.  

The topics I will cover:

(Some are obviously more vital than others and the list below is in no particular order.)

1. Cleaning
2. Time Management
3. Discipline (Working Out and Eating Healthy)
4. Appearance
5. Getting Enough Sleep
6. Raising a Child
7. Cooking
8. Scheduling
9. Forgiveness
10. Love

So stay tuned.  If I have time during Shirley's next nap, I may post one today.  
Just a little p.s.  I am in no way trying to say that I am a great example in these areas or that I have learned all there is to know.  I mean, this should be obvious without me having to state it.  I just want to be helpful in the very few small things I have learned in my short time of being a wife.  

Thanks for reading! 

Shirley at Six Months

Six months sounds even longer when it's worded "half a year".  I know everyone says it, but they say it because it's true.  It flew by!  I definitely took more pictures this month so sorry if this post is a little picture heavy.  Though apparently there are some people who read this blog because I had a couple people ask me where the six month post is, so I guess you all won't mind pictures.  :)

She's covering up her face here, but it's pretty much the only official six month picture I got with her looking at me.  

The first big thing this month is that Shirley learned how to sit up on her own for long periods of time.  She is steady now, which is nice for her.  She enjoys sitting and playing with her toys.

How am I going to discipline this child??  I will though.  I will.  Shirley also discovered cords this month and computers, phones and iPads, all of which she is not allowed to play with so the discipline has started a little bit.

My mom bought Shirley the perfect 4th of July dress.  Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the parade or our evening at the Tagliere's house.  (Their neighbor sets off some pretty decent fireworks.)  But I did get the dress.  

Okay enough with the 4th of July pics.

These next few are the only pictures I took of Shirley on her actual 6 month birthday.  This dress is from her Auntie Kristin and we love it!  The drooling has continued, although there is less of it, but still no teeth!

But probably the biggest new feat of Shirley's is the army crawl!  She can now get where she wants to go which means I can no longer leave her out of my sight for more than two minutes!  Oh dear.  Sometimes she get on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth and then falls forward then she repeats it.  

She has also recently started "waving".  She moves her fingers up and down over her thumb.  She'll do this right in people's faces.  Especially mine.  I'm still not sure exactly what she's trying to do when she does it, but it's super cute.  

Shirley is still our happy baby overall.  She loves to talk and growl and laugh and we love how friendly and easygoing she is.  I still can't believe that God would give such an unworthy sinner as myself such a wonderful gift!  As always, we love you Shirley Lindi!

Shirley at Five Months

Anyone can see by that nice little ticker above that I am once again late in posting about Shirley.  And once again I only had one post in between this one and the last monthly update on Shirley.  But stay tuned.  I will have a new easy little recipe up soon.  One that has (kinda) brought ice cream back into my life.  Anyway, on to Shirley.  

This time, I didn't touch up the pictures at all.  I am currently taking a free online Photoshop class and  I'm spending so much of my free time watching those lessons that I just don't have time to fix these up.  I just need to get them on here.  I don't have a baby book yet, so this is kind of my only way right now to remember how Shirley is developing.  And yes, probably only family and a few close friends care but why am I apologizing?  Look at that cute face!

Who me?

Attacking her dog.  Shirley has become much more aware of her toys this month.  She's finally playing with them!

And she's beginning to sit up with help.  She actually does pretty good balancing with no help, not even from a boppy pillow, for about ten seconds maybe.

But toppling is still the norm.

The classic picture with her dog.

Do we really have to do this again?

These days she's putting EVERYTHING into her mouth.

She is just so curious about everything.  She is always looking around.  

She's also drooling a lot.  We think she's teething due to the drooling, biting and other symptoms.  But she's still our happy baby!

She's also laughing all the time.  The other morning I was sitting in our living room eating my breakfast and I could hear her laughing to herself in her crib.  Most mornings I play the piggy game with her toes and I have been waiting for her to laugh when I say "Whee whee whee whee whee, all the way home" as I tickle her.  She finally did it today!

I know I say it every time, but I just love her!  I can't imagine wanting to do anything else than stay at home and be her mom.  I can't believe I get to call it my job!  I thank God for her every day and for the privilege of being her mom.  I also pray daily that God would save her at a young age and give her a love for Him and a desire to serve Him with her life.

Shirley at 4 Months

Well, here's the bimonthly blog post with Shirley's update.  :)  She is at the age where she can hold her number nicely now.  At least for a few seconds!  So every month, whenever I take pictures of Shirley, most of them turn out except the ones with her dog.  I figured out that he's throwing off the white balance!  Anyway, thankfully a few managed to turn out.

Shirley loves her daddy!  They have a lot of fun together going on "roller coasters" and making funny faces and sounds.  

Every day Shirley and I read some books together.  I brought out a few of my favorites recently.  They are a little old for her.  She much prefers baby Einstein books, but she'll listen to these for a couple minutes at least. 

I love my little snuggle bug.  This doesn't happen too often.  Only when she's really tired, but I try to soak in those moments!

I love giving her kisses.  Sometimes it makes her laugh.  She's making a lot more cooing sounds, but not so much of the "ba, ya, da, ma" sounds yet.  Hopefully soon.

This month, Shirley learned how to roll over from her back to her stomach.  I guess the more common thing is for babies to roll from their stomach to their back first but she doesn't do much of that.  It's made it much easier at nighttime though.  She immediately rolls to her stomach and sleeps that way the whole night.  No more swaddling for this girlie!

She definitely loves to grab things now...

...and stick them in her mouth!

Oh Shirley.

We love you!