The Companionship of the Lord Himself

I don't really have anything in particular to write about today, except some random thoughts perhaps. Shirley is wonderful to me but there are other things in life besides Shirley.
Speaking of Shirley though, I do love her so much.  And I absolutely love my husband.  I have a few friends that can bring themselves to tears just thinking about loved ones dying.  I was never one of those girls until I got married.  Okay, I know this post is starting to get morbid but stay with me.  I know that worrying about what could happen is never productive.  What is the point in worrying about something that may not happen (and usually won't)?  As the Bible says, "sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:34)  But I do sometimes wonder to myself how I would handle a really difficult trial like that.  I know that God's grace is great.  When my dad died I experienced the comfort of God through His Word and sweet friends.  He does give a peace that is beyond understanding.  But as hard as it was to say goodbye to my dad for now, in my mind I think it would be even harder to have to say goodbye to Kwacha or Shirley.  Could I handle it?  I think it comes down to this: Do I love God more than anyone or anything else?
That is an important question to ask myself.  I may not have to worry about Kwacha or Shirley dying today, but how is my life right now a living testimony that I love God more than either of them?  I'm not writing an answer to that right now.  I have to search my heart.  But the cool thing is, if I love God more than them, I am also going to love them in just the way that I should!  That is an extremely comforting thought.
I shared the following with a couple of friends recently who experienced the extremely difficult trial of miscarriage.  I can't empathize with them, but I definitely sympathize.  
It's a quote from Stepping Heavenward.  One of my favorite books. It's at a point in the book where an older lady who had lost most of her family is talking to a younger girl whose fiancé had just died.

Sometimes I find it a help, when dull and cramped in my devotions, to say to myself: Suppose Christ should now appear before you, and you could see Him as He appeared to His disciples on earth, what would you say to Him? This brings Him near, and I say what I would say if He were visibly present. I do the same when a new sorrow threatens me. I imagine my Redeemer as coming personally to say to me, 'For your sake I am a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; now for My sake give me this child, bear this burden, submit to this loss,' Can I refuse Him? Now, dear, He really has come to you in this way, and asked you to show your love to Him, your faith in Him, by giving Him the most precious of your treasures. If He were here at this moment, and offered to restore it to you, would you dare say, 'Yes, Lord, I know, far better than You do, what is good for him and good for me; I will have him return to me, whatever it may cost; in this world of uncertainties and disappointments I shall be sure of happiness in his society, and he will enjoy more here on earth with me than he could enjoy in the companionship of saints and angels and of The Lord Himself in Heaven,' Could you dare to say this?

I hope this may encourage you in whatever trial you may be facing.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

Weeping With Those Who Weep



Today I am going to take just a little bit of time to talk about something that I hope might be helpful.

First off I want to say that while my dad was in the hospital and after he died, I was immensely encouraged by anyone and everyone who spent time with us, offered timely words, gave big bear hugs, sent meals.  I was never offended by anything anyone said or did.  I am beyond grateful because I know all of these things were done from caring, concerned hearts.  It was amazing to experience the love of the body of Christ!

However, now that it has been almost four years, there are a few things I learned through the process that I believe will help me grieve with others in the future and I thought I would share those today.

 

1. If you are a close friend, go to the hospital. (maybe even if you aren't super close)

 

Right before my dad died, I had a couple other friends who "lost" parents.  At the time I wanted to help encourage them, but I wasn't sure what to do.  I would have never thought of going to the hospital because I assumed they would want space and would want to spend that time with family.  When my dad was in the hospital and we knew it wasn't looking good, a lot of our close friends came to be with us.  There were people from my mom's Bible study and some of Emily and my close friends came and stayed overnight.  A bunch of them slept on the floor of the waiting room with us!  The next morning after he died, a ton of friends came.  Our college pastor at the time was there and he read passages of Scripture to the whole group.  I can't fully express how much it meant to us to have so many people surrounding us at such a hard time. 

I do know that people handle these situations differently and some may not want lots of people around.  If you're not sure, just ask! 

 

2. Just do it.

 

Like I said earlier, when a friend loses a family member you may feel helpless but you do want to help.  Many people told us, "If there is ANYTHING I can do just let me know."  This is so kind and means a lot, but the person you say that to is probably not going to know what to suggest.  Either that or they might not actually feel like they can take you up on it.  I think a better thing to do may be to just do something you know would be helpful. 

 

Ideas:

- Take a meal and/or organize a group of people to bring meals.

- Go over and do some yardwork.

- Take her out for coffe.  (She may not want to go, but offer.)

- Take breakfast over one morning.  (We had a friend bring bagels one morning and it was so sweet!)

- Offer to help look for important files/documents.  (I had a friend fly out all the way from Massachusetts and she helped with this.  We would have never thought to ask, but it was so helpful.)

- If you have experience with accounting, offer to help settle finances.  (You probably don't want to offer this if you aren't a close friend or family member.  But we did have help with this.  This is, I think, even more useful when it's a widow.)

 

There are many other ways that you can help.  Just be creative!  Don't worry so much about offending or hurting the person.  Usually he or she will know that it comes from a heart that wants to help!

 

3. Ask, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I am pretty sure that most people are afraid to ask this question.  They are especially afraid to ask about the person who died.  However, I found this question to be very refreshing.  I was already thinking about my dad, so it's not like the question was hurtful or made me think of things I was trying to push aside.  In fact, sometimes this question distracted me from the sad thoughts and redirected them to happy memories I had with my dad. 

Again there may be people who feel differently, so just ask gently.  The worst they can say is that they'd rather not talk about it.  At least they know you care.

 

4. Ask, "How are you doing?" 

This one may be a little selfish on my part.  I had a lot of people ask me how my mom was doing, but not many asked how I was doing.  I understand.  My mom obviously had a MUCH closer relationship with my dad than I did, and it was definitely harder on her than it was on me.  So I definitely appreciated this question, but sometimes it was just nice to hear someone ask me how I was doing. 

 

5. Write a note and/or send a little (practical) gift.

If you don't know what to say, write out a verse, or a passage from the Bible.  Since all comfort and encouragement ultimately come from God, what would be better than this? 

 

6. Sometimes, don't ask anything, just be a "shoulder to cry on" as the saying goes.

Before you ask a question, stop and think of just how often the person is being asked that same question.  Maybe they are just a little bit tired of spitting out the same response time and time again.  When in doubt, go back to #3.  If they want to talk about it, great.  If not, find something fun to do that may distract them for a little bit.    

 

Again, this post is in no way meant to be a complaint.  Like I said, nothing anyone said or did ever offended or hurt me.  I only mean to be helpful, because before my dad died, I pretty much had no idea what to do or say in this situation.  If you feel that way, don't just ignore the situation.  God can use you to bring so much comfort!

Him hath God exalted

I read the excerpt below from Spurgeon's Morning by Morning and halfway through I started thinking about my dad and missing him. Just how I love my family still...but. It is not wholly complete without him. I just miss how we all interacted as a family. How we all joked around or had some our deeper meaningful conversations at the dinner table. I miss his counsel. But then I finished the Spurgeon devotional and I couldn't be sad anymore. He is in Heaven with Jesus and pretty soon we will be too. I can't wait!

"Him hath God exalted."

-Acts 5:31

Jesus, our Lord, once crucified, dead and buried, now sits upon the throne of glory. The highest place that heaven affords is his by undisputed right. It is sweet to remember that the exaltation of Christ in heaven is a representative exaltation. He is exalted at the Father's right hand, and though as Jehovah he has eminent glories, in which finite creatures cannot share, yet as the Mediator, the honors which Jesus wears in heaven are the heritage of all the saints. It is delightful to reflect how close is Christ's union with his people. We are actually one with him; we are. Members of his body; and his exaltation is our exaltation. He will give us to sit upon his throne, even as he has overcome, and is set down with his Father on his throne; he has a crown, and he gives us crowns too; he has a throne, but he is not content with having a throne to himself, on his right hand there must be his queen, arrayed in "gold of Ophir". He cannot be glorified without his bride. Look up, believer, to Jesus now; let the eye of your faith behold him with many crowns upon his head; and remember that you will one day be like him, when you shall see him as he is; you shall not be so great as he is, you shall not be so divine, but still you shall, in a measure, share the same honors, and enjoy the same happiness and the same dignity which he possesses. Be content to live unknown for a little while, and to walk your weary way through the fields of poverty, or up the hills of affliction; for by-and-by you shall reign with Christ, for he has "made us kings and priests unto God, and we shall reign forever and ever." Oh! Wonderful thought for the children of God! W have Christ for our glorious representative in heaven's courts now, and soon he will come and receive us to himself, to be with him there, to behold his glory, and to share his joy.

Memory

Monday night I saw the movie, The Vow, with my mom and my Aunt Donna.  I know I know, cheesy sounding, right?  I was even more concerned when I saw that the critics gave it pretty bad reviews, but I was pleasantly surprised.  In fact, I really liked it.  Just a warning, I can't completely recommend it...watch with discretion. 

The movie is inspired by a true story about a relatively newlywed couple who get in a car accident and the wife loses the previous 5 years of her memory.  In the real story she lost a year, but she met, started dating and married her husband within that year and so she didn't remember him. 

It got me thinking, what would that be like if it were me?  What has happened in the last 5 years of my life?

I realized a LOT has happened!

I graduated college.

I received my teaching credential.

I was an assistant teacher at two different schools.

I joined high school staff at church.

My dad died.

I got a disease.

I started working at Grace to You.

I have many new, dear friendships.

I just can't imagine waking up one day not remembering any of that!  I think I would freak out over my gray hairs, I would wonder why I'm not teaching.  I wouldn't know half the people I interact with now on a daily basis.  And I can only imagine what it would be like to hear the response to "Where's dad?"

So! Memory.  Not something I thank God for often, in fact, sometimes I do wish I could forget some things.  But thinking about it, I am truly so thankful for my memory!

Worth It

In the past week, I've thought a lot about motherhood and the relationship between a mom and her children. From the horrific details of the Casey Anthony case to the amazing account of Jacey Dugard told in her book, A Stolen Life, to a blog post I read here, one in a series of blog posts on how women balance motherhood and their careers.

"Choice" is a popular vocab term that pops up. I'd really like to do a study on this word as it appears in the Bible. I'm guessing you'd be hard pressed to find it in the context of "a woman's right to choose." Yet so many women feel this way and not just in regards to abortion, but also in whether or not they should have a career. I understand that financial hardships exist and that for a time a mother may have to work, possibly even outside of the home. But hopefully her heart lines up with Titus 2:5 and Proverbs 31 and this circumstance would exist for only a short period of time.

Too often believer's start listening to the movies or shows they watch and begin to adopt the world's view on this matter. (Just as we are prone to do on any issue.) I am obviously not a mother so some may say I have no right to speak on this or that I have no idea what I'm talking about. It's true that I may not know how hard it is to be a mom (although I have a small clue from babysitting and teaching Kindergarten.) But either way the Bible is always where we are to look for the true standard. A well known verse that's not always easy to follow is Proverbs 3:5-7, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege Him, and He will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil."

How comforting that no matter how hard it may it be, or how confusing it might seem, if we listen and obey God's Word, we can trust that He will lead us where He wants us to go. And He is always faithful to provide for His children.

And a short word on abortion. A common argument in favor of abortion is, "Well what if a woman gets raped? She didn't choose to get pregnant!" Well read Jaycee Dugard's opinion on the matter:

"Despite years of torment, Dugard, who was kidnapped in 1991 at age 11 near her home in South Lake Tahoe, Calif., insists she would suffer it all again for the priceless reward of her beautiful, loving girls." (You can read more here.)

Did you hear that??? She would endure 18 years of rape and other tortures all over again to have her kids!!!

This perspective can be anyone's if they trust in the love and sovereignty of God.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, and ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

On Friday night at the hospital a group of us sang some hymns while my dad was in ICU. Someone chose to sing Great is Thy Faithfulness and I remembered that this is my Dad's favorite hymn. This was just one of the many little ways that God has showed His faithfulness to us in my Dad's death. And because of Christ we can say, "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"

A few weeks back I had noticed that God has been surrounding me with multiple friends who had lost one of their parents at a young age, a few were very recent. I started to wonder why this was the case. I believe it was just one of the ways God was preparing me for what was to come. What was to come in His perfect timing. My Dad had complications with the medicine he was on for Valley Fever and so it would be easy to question, "What if he had never entered the hospital?" and so on. But it was another blessing that God allowed Rick Holland (along with many others) to be there with us. He encouraged us on Friday night not to ask the what if's or why's, not to even allow our minds to go there, but to trust in God's perfect will. This helped me a lot while lying on the waiting room floor praying that God might let him live, but knowing it might be his time to go home. We didn't know that much about Valley Fever and we have no idea how hard it would have been for my Dad if he had kept on living.

I will miss my Dad terribly. Everyone keeps talking about his big, booming laugh. Definitely true. It embarrassed my Mom at the movies and Em and I used it as a means to find my parents at church after the service got out. I loved my Dad's sense of humor. Ever so often a bit cheesy...but he could handle teasing well. And Em and I teased him as he did us. He teased my Mom a lot too. Thinking of that brought me to tears the other day when my Mom said something that he would have totally teased her about. He loved sports and movies and road trips and spent a ton of time with us. I never ever felt neglected by my Dad. He was SUPER organized, he loved making lists and itineraries. Something that has helped us since he's been gone. He wasn't the most patient man but now he is! He's sinless now! And seeing my Savior's face!

Three things stuck out to me recently about how my Dad encouraged me spiritually. When my Grandma died he had me read 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 in the car while we were parked outside someone's house. On Sunday, the day after he died, John Rourke read this passage in church.

I remember we were in the "Sewing Room" (really the Den) in our house when he taught me about election. I don't know how it came up, but he explained how God loves everyone but He has chosen to love and save particular people.

When I doubted my salvation in high school he went over Hebrews 11 with me pointing out that we live by faith. We trust God and obey Him just like countless others did in that passage.

My Dad was a saved sinner. A wonderful father. I love him and rejoice that I will see him again someday, because my heavenly Father is most loving of all.

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
"For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?"
"Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?"

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

Life, Trials, and Jesus!

So, I just realized that it's pretty much been about three months since I gave an actual update on life. Feels like it's high time.
For those of you who don't know, I am no longer working in the school office at Grace. I'm now the assistant teacher in Kindergarten. I have to say that Kindergarten was definitely not my first choice. In truth, it was my last. Don't get me wrong, I like 5-year-olds and all, but a whole group of them who don't know how to tie their shoes.... Anyway, as I've told many people, the first two weeks were a big trial for me, in my perspective. The thought of being stuck in a little room with all 21 of them, for the WHOLE school year, well it basically freaked me out. A whole year with the same class is a long time when you look at it this way, both of my student teaching experiences were for 1/4 of the year, and then last year I was a teacher aid for 1/2 of the year. Anyway, yeah, Kindergarten. Really doesn't sound like a trial at all when I read it on paper...or blog, but I viewed it that way, and thankfully, God has really used it to teach the things that trials are supposed to teach us.
For one, it's reminded me that I am ALWAYS dependent on Him. This made me realize it more, but I am no more dependent on Him in this situation than I am in any other. I know it sounds silly, but it also made me focus a lot more on heaven. I think there is just something scary when you're starting out a job that you're not sure you love. It's different than just getting a part time job for the summer. For me, as a girl, I don't know when, let alone if I will get married someday. I can't just bank on it, or put my hope in it. So whatever I do, I might be doing for awhile. It just made me remember that I will not be doing anything on this earth for very long compared to eternity, and whatever I AM doing now, I better be doing wholeheartedly for my King! Which made me remember that God has PLACED me here. I didn't just choose it. I know that's a common thing to say, so sometimes we don't really think about what it really means. But God wants me here right now, not just for me, although that's what's helping work all things for my good and His glory right now, but also for the little Kindergarteners. And not just for them, but also to help out Kathi Nelson. That's another thing that's cool because she used to be my fourth grade teacher and now I'm actually getting to know her as a friend. :0)
Something else God is teaching me is about my sin. There are a few Kindergartners who are a bit defiant and will say no to my face. One day it was getting to me and on my break I was reading in Isaiah about the Israelites who were continually provoking God to His face. I realized that whenever I sin, I am just like those little Kindergarteners, I am saying no to His face. And the fact that He would die for me amazes me all over again!
So, I can truthfully say, that this trial made me truly joyful! :0) He has drawn me closer to Him in this than I EVER could have imagined. We are so ridiculously blessed to be allowed to serve Him and know Him! Our great Savior and King! We get to be WITH HIM someday soon!!!
Okay, the other news is that I am officially on High school staff. Sorry Christen, if you are reading this and I haven't told you on the phone yet. That was the news. I absolutely am loving it! I didn't realize that ministry could be this fun! I highly recommend it. One of the biggest surprises to me is the great conversations I've had with many of the girls already. I guess it shouldn't necessarily surprise me, but it did. The staff is great too and I get to go to my first staff meeting tomorrow.
Well, that's life lately. Hopefully I can speak to the readers I may have, and haven't spoken to recently, soon. 'Til then, press on and keep your eyes on Jesus!

What a Friend

I have really been struggling with setting my mind on God throughout the day at school. It seems like everything moves so fast there and my mind is focusing on teaching and what I have to do next and I start trying to do everything completely on my own.
Rick Holland's message on Sunday night was so good about knowing God. I really do want to be thinking about Him throughout the day. For some reason this hymn has been super helpful.

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry Ev'rything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry Ev'rything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged, Take it to the Lord in prayer:

Can we find a friend so faithful Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus Knows our every weakness, Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Saviour, still our refuge; Take it to the Lord in prayer:

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer;

In His arms He'll take and shield thee; Thou wilt find a solace there.

It helps to know that I can pray to God about anything throughout the day. Listening to this hymn in the morning on the way to school helps me to think about how God is present with me throughout the day and He knows everything that I am doing or thinking about. Nothing is hidden from Him.